The cure
by NickiM12
Summary: She needed someone to touch her soul & awaken her, she should've known he'd be that special someone.Nick/Miley
1. Prologue: Desperate

**An-**Sooo, _I'm back! _Already? Yeah, I know but this new story has been bugging my muse for the last couple of days and I figured screw it, I might aswell come back. Niley, _always. _

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**Prologue: Desperate**

_'You want a reason, to keep believing, that someday you're going to see the light...-' _

I take a sharp intake of breath as the hostess announces that we're finally landing. I hate flying. Always did, aways will. The thousand miles above the ground thing and that possibility that you might bump into something tottaly out of the ordinary and crash into the oblivion and then there's the landing part; it scares the freaking shit out of me and I forcefully bite my lip to keep myself from screaming.

Demi's hand intertwines with mine and I grasp onto it with all my might, looking over at her gratefully for a split second although a piece of me is bubbling with jealousy. She's so calm and collected and _fearless _and a part of me wishes I could be like that, a part of me wishes I could go back to that but I haven't been myself in the longest time.

"It's over." Demi whispers soothingly and I open one eye cautiously to see the sight of thousands of people crowding around trying to get their stuff. I wince slightly, feeling a cold chill run through me. Too many people.

"Thanks." I mumble to Demi sincerely, as she rubs my arm.

She dismisses it, just like she always does whenever I thank her for everything she has ever done for me. She's so amazing, so kind-hearted, such a beautiful person with a beautiful heart and I appreciate having her in my life. She's my best friend. She's my constant. She's been my strength through it all.

"Let's get the hell out of here i'm starving." Demi muses aloud, handing me my suitcases and I roll my eyes.

"Your always hungry." I comment, still a little dazed . That girl has got one of the most voracious appetites I have ever seen in my life. _Seriously. _

Demi shrugs nonchalantly. "I've got to feed my butt somehow. Besides, your looking a little easy on the bones."

She eyes me accusingly and I sigh. _Busted. _

"I tried." I admit, defeated.

Demi wraps her arms around me and I fall into her embrace. " I know you did and we'll work on that. I'm proud of you, you know?"

"You shouldn't be. "

Demi frowns. "Well I am and there's nothing you can say or do that will stop me. Baby steps but your still on your way there, just standing here being on this plane is a huge step for you and that shows major process. I still think it's too soon by the way."

"I can't run forever, Dem." I taunt her with her own words.

She rolls her eyes. "Not forever, just until everything gets better."

"Which is never."

Demi frowns. "Miley."

"It's the truth, okay? And i'm pretty sure somewhere around that thick skull, you've thought the same thing and I'm okay with that. This shit is never going to get better, the doubt is always going to be there, that paranoia is always going to stick with me, that night is all I'm ever going to see! I've learned to live in darkness, Dem, so why don't you take a few pages from my book?"

"Because you're better then that. Because you deserve better then that." Demi responds softly. "You're a warrior and you don't even know it. You're so strong and filled with so much and I know that you were meant to live this life for a purpose. A _good _purpose. Why can't you see that?"

"I don't want to." I snap bitterly, ending that part of the conversation. I know she's just looking out for me and trying to make me feel better but I can't just succumb to hope, I won't allow myself to. Hope is what lead me here. Hope is what destroyed me.

Demi sighs." Are you sure you're ready for this? There's no looking back, Mi. The minute we step foot out of this airport, we're back into our old lives, we're back home. No more hiding."

"I know and I'm glad." Demi looks at me, surprised. "I mean it. I'm tired of hiding, Dem. I just want to feel alive again."

"This _is_ the right place to do it." Demi cracks a smile, looking out into the window. I follow her actions, feeling that rippling sensation that I hadn't thought I could feel for a long time. I see sun and beaches and happiness; everything that makes this place so great, everything about this place that I've _missed. _

"I'm sure, Dem." I laugh, knowing she was about to corner me into another lecture. "I'm sure."

"Don't say I didn't warn ya."

"I won't have to." I shoot back. " Besides, who's going to pick a fight with me looking like this?"

Demi's face falls and her expression turns cross.

"Don't." She snaps. "Don't joke about it."

"Sometimes, it's all I can do." I murmur quietly.

"I know." Demi sighs, grabbing our passports and leading me towards the big burly men known as security. "Doesn't mean I like it."

I fish my hands into my pocket, drowning into silence as the world passes on without me. I'm like that sometimes, I dream. I dream of a better place and a better world and a better future for myself. I never expected this outcome, then again all my expectations hasn't exactly worked out in the way I've planned for a while.

Demi nudges me with her elbow, grabbing my attention. I hadn't even known we've finished secuirty that quick.

"Joe's on his way."

I nod stiffly.

"We don't have to, you know? We can find a place, you and me. Just like before..."

"Dem." I cut her off. "I'm fine, seriously."

"I just, I can't help it. I don't, I don't want this to go wrong. I don't want everything to fuck up. We were doing so good."

"And this is testing the waters." Demi gives me a long glance. "I'll admit. I'm scared. Freaked out of my mind, actually but, I want to. I need to. I can't go back there, not after that. Here's the only place where I feel safe."

"It's not going to be easy."

"I'm not alone." I whisper, looking Demi square in the eyes and Demi wraps her arm around me, pulling me into her comforting embrace.

"Always." She sniffles, pulling back from our embrace teary-eyed.

"I hope you can squeeze me in that always too." I hear, and it's smooth and masculine and so not as boyish and mischevious as its always been but I recognize it all the same. I feel the nerves start to swirl around in my stomach.

Demi swirls around to greet him and she sounds giddy and excited and _happy _that I flush a little with guilt. She could've had her happiness, she could've fulfilled her happily ever after but I prevented her from that, I took her away from all things good and piled my shit on her plate. Sometimes, I think she should've taken my advice and left me.

"Miley?" Demi whispers, bringing me back to earth and its then do I remember that I've had my back turned for a while now. I brace myself, feeling that swirling sentiment build up. I didn't think this would be so hard. Tantalizingly, I turn around, before exposing myself and taking off my hoodie.

I wait for his slackjawed expression. His hair is shorter, he's a lot taller and there's a damn stubble on his chin. He's _old. _He's happy and I lower my eyes just waiting for it. I wait for his eyes to go all sympathetic and his nose to twitch in sadness and that look to come on his face. I'm ugly, I know it. I've accepted it. It's who I am now. That look never comes.

"Miles..." Joe murmurs speechlessly before stepping forward. I nod cautiously, falling into him as he pulls me into his arms. I blink rapidly in order to keep myself from crying. It's been so long that it's actually overwhelming. I've missed him, I missed _us _and a part of me wishes I never left all this behind. A part of me wishes I've stayed connected to my '_big brother' _.

He pulls back to get a good look at me, his finger rising slightly as it grazes the whole of my face. I wince slightly at the new sense of touch. I haven't let anyone get this close to me since Demi.

"It looks worse then it feels. " I remark lightly.

Joe snaps his eyes closed and I can tell then that it's hard for him to see me like this.

"I should've called." He finally whispers, after there's an echoe of silence.

"Joe..."

"No, Demi." Joe cuts her off. "I should've. I should've never let you get away."

"You couldn't of stopped it, Joe." I whisper, avoiding his eyes. The subject was becoming a little too heavy.

Joe shakes his head, at loss.

"You're here now, Joe. That's all that matters." Demi insists, and I crack a smile in her direction. She's so good at this stuff. At getting people to deal, and handling unexpected situations. She'd make a great mom some day and I'm _so _not going through that road again.

"For good." He smiles lazily over to me. "Now let's get out of here and treat you ladies to mcdonald's before you guys meet my trash of a place. I still can't cook."

My lip twitches. He's never been good at the whole cooking thing especially when he was younger. Burnt dishes were a specialty. But then again, who am I to talk? I'm not exactly chef extraordinare myself. Demi handles all that stuff.

He loops his arm around my shoulder pressing a kiss to the side of my temple before steering me out of the airport and I instinctively raise my hood, covering myself from the rest of the world.

I inhale the sweet smell of honey and that distinct something that I could never quite define and take in everything around me.

I'm _home. _

"You call this trash?" Demi exclaims in awe twenty minutes later, sweeping her eyes over the whole of the house. I'm captivated aswell. I've never expected a house of Joe's to be like _this. _

"I might've had a great few fortunes in the past couple years." He shrugs off dismissively.

"It's _huge_." Demi is quick to respond. "It's nice."

"It's tidy." I answer. I think that's the part that shocks me the most. Joe doesn't have a clean bone in his body, it's like he was prone to it.

"It really has been five years." Joe murmurs thickly, and I sigh as Demi looks away a little uncomfortable. All _my _fault.

I fish down my last pair of french fries ( Demi _insisted _I finish them all.) before taking a seat on the black leather couches. I smile a little, that's so kick ass. Not everything has changed about him.

I listen attentively as he tells us about the changes around here. Papa G and Mama G are still growing strong and grossing them out, Kevin's gotten married to some chick named Danielle & he's quick to show us pictures once inquired ( she's pretty, exactly his type.), Frankie's 15 & dating and I kind of blur out from then.

Because i'm ashamed. I'm ashamed of the fact that I've kept myself away from these people for so long and I'm ashamed of the person I've become that they're forced to keep up with. I'm ashamed of not having had tried harder. It wasn't their screw up, it was ours & I pushed away the people I loved and admired when I needed them the most. I drove _him _away.

Feeling my heart crackle into pieces at the reminder of our fallout. I feel a lump form in my throat.

"How is he?"

Joe's expression changes and I can't tell if it's a good thing or a bad thing. "He's married." He finally announces.

I gape, feeling the air knock out of me and the remaining bits of my heart split. He's _married. _The words are still taunting me, haunting me, circling through my mind and my cheek is burning as though I've just been whipped in the face. I've expected him to forget, I expected him to move on, hell I was okay with the fact of him possibly dating when we first landed. I just never expected _this. _

He's married... and it's not to _me. _I shouldn't be surprised.

"Oh."

"Miley.."

I shake my head, stopping him from talking. "It's okay. Better late then never, right?"

"We all wished it was you." Joe admits. I crack a watery smile at that. He's always been a Niley supporter.

Demi switches the subject thankfully and Joe follows her lead, both putting me at ease, or atleast attempting to. I can't wrap my head around it. He's married. He's _happy _and that fucking kills me. _I'm not the one that puts that smile on his face anymore. _

I don't notice anything as I numbly stare out the window. I don't notice time ticking faster, the door creaking open and that horrible expression on Joe's face. I don't notice at all... until _he _speaks.

"Yo, Joe!"

My heart beats at a rapid pace. My fingers sweat in anticipation, excitement, fear, _hurt. _Sensations I had long since forgotten I could feel pump through me and that feeling, that feeling only he has managed to evoke from within me gravitates it's way to the surface. I swerve my head instantly.

"Miley?" He gasps and for a minute, I base it on the shock and the disbelief of my arrival. I doubt he knew about it. I specifically asked Joe not to tell anyone. I knew he wouldn't have betrayed me, even to his own brother.

But it's his eyes. I've always been able to read him, I've always been able to recognize his thoughts. His eyes tell everything, his eyes expose him and his eyes are currently bubbling with shock, disbelief yes , but also confusion and anger and _hurt. _And then I recognize why.

My hoodie fell.

_Fuck. _

I've been exposed.

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**AN- **Soo umm, first _chapter! _I hope it was good enough. I've really tried to hold a little suspense/ mystery there instead of giving everything away. I hope you liked the Demi/Miley, I _looove _their friendship- if you hadn't already known that from my first story- & I couldn't resist penciling in Miley/Joe * if Nick/Miley weren't so loveable, I'd so want her with Joe* ... What happened between Miley and Nick will be revealed sooner or later, but what happened to Miley is going to be revealed most likely next chapter. I hope you _liked _it_... _Hopefully it attracted your attention as much as The baby assignment , review, review for the second chapter.

Much love,

Nicki M.

_I'm baaaaack. _


	2. Chapter 1:Alive

**AN-**Gosh, it still feels weird to be writing again :P Although, I am _very _happy. I still haven't expected this many reviews so thank you for that, not only have you inspired me to keep writing but you reminded me of how fun & loved I feel whenever I write because of the remarks I get back. I'm glad that I got you attracted to the story, I hope this chapter helps build up on that. I'm supposed to be celebrating my birthday with my family, but I figured with all of the treats that you have given, I couldn't just _not _give you your request. Update it is! Hope you like it.

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**Chapter 1: Alive**

_'I breathe, I hear, but I don't believe it. My heart, it beats but inside I'm freezing...' _

**Nick: **

Stunned, I blink repeatedly feeling the whole of my past flush through my mind in seconds. I feel like I can't breathe. My cheeks are red with emotion, my eyes are wide with awarness and shock and my heart beats with sentiments; sentiments that I thought I would never feel again, sentiments that I _shouldn't _feel again.

She's back. My eyes rake over the whole of her, taking her in and slowly all the nervousness, the anxiety, that portion of awakening deep down in my soul pauses as my insides turn cold. My hands shake, my heart pounds, I'm trembling. She's different. She's _bruised. _

She has a large cut above her right eyebrow. Black and blue circles- dark and visible- surround both of her eyes, one of which would not open completely. The left side of her jaw is swollen, her lips are torn up pretty badly & due to the strappy top and denim shorts she's wearing, I could easily see the extent of her injuries as they run over the whole of her arms and legs; _God, _her legs. You could barely recognize her. I couldn't even tell it was her at first.

Until I looked into her eyes. They were always so indescribable, they always stood out in the midst of a crowd. They were unique, blue like the sky but shone like the sun. I love the way they'd sparkle, lighting up the whole of her face. I love the way they glisten when she smiles. She was always happy, always so full of life and looking into them now, I see nothing of what I was used to.

I see hollowness and coldness and defeat. I see betrayal and conflict and _hurt. _I see insecurities and self-conciousness and that alone kills me because Miley has never been that way. She's always been so confident of herself, she's always had hope. Hope doesn't exist in her now.

"Nick.." She murmurs and I shake my curls wildly. She sounds so.. _defeated. _

"I..." I struggle for words. "What... what happened to you?"

Slowly, a tear streams down her cheek and I resist the urge to pull her into my arms.

"Miley." Demi mumbles softly and she shakes her head.

"I'm not your concern anymore." She mutters softly, before she dashes up the stairs, disappearing out of sight. Demi glances back at me, looking at me apologetically before following her best friend up the stairs.

I slump unto the love seat, confused and completely dazed because it's still shocking. That just didn't happen. I just didn't witness that. I lose all feeling as her face, so battered and completely unlike her, flashes through the whole of my mind.

"Nick?" Joe states, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder and instantly I feel a fuel of anger rise up from under me and rise to the surface.

"You should have told me." I growl, hastily getting to my feet as my eyes blaze fluriously.

"Dude-"

"She's been here the whole time and you haven't said anything about it! _God, _how long has she been here! How could you not tell me about this?"

"It wasn't my place to tell!" Joe barks agitatedly, breathing heavily. "She's been through enough and she asked me not to say anything. Trust runs little with her now, man. I'm not going to screw it up."

"What happened to her?" I ask, pain tearing my heart as I envision her battered up face again. "Who did that to her?"

"Nick..."

"Joe." I demand helplessly. Joe's silent for a moment before he answers.

"I don't know much." He admits, looking down to the floor. "It happened three months ago. She couldn't get over you still, Demi insisted she let loose a little and have fun. It wa supposed to be harmless." He gulps, as if the next part was painful for him to say and immediately my heart speeds up. "He was some guy at a bar. He bought her a couple drinks, they bonded a little, he wanted more. She didn't."

"No..." I murmur, although I know where the story leads up to. I can envision her crying out, I can envision the tears covering the whole of her face slowly sucking away her soul and everything good in her life. I can see her desperately trying to be set free.

Joe shakes his head yes and immediately my body panics with all the emotions surrounding me. I can't catch a breath. I can't think. I can't speak. I feel fire spread through the whole of my body and I feel a hole ripping through my heart.

Automatically, I rise with only one destination in mind. Joe instantly blocks me.

"Dude.."

Joe's nostrils flare as he sighs. "You can't."

"She needs me." I cry out desperately, shoving him out of the way. Can't he _see _that? "You can't just let me stand here and not do anything about it!"

"Nick." He mutters, looking down on me with a dejected expression. "She's not yours to fix anymore."

Spleechlessly, I gape at Joe feeling a burning sensation build through my cheeks as the words slap me in the face and realization dawns on me. Clarity kicks me in the shin, letting an unsettling feeling run through my veins. Joe is right.

Since we were thirteen, I've always been her hero, I've always managed to help her manage life and the things that come with it. I was her shoulder when her mom died, I was her smile whenever she felt down, I was her heart and now we're nothing. Now we're _strangers _and guilt breezes me as knowledge kicks in that I was the reason for that.

Dizzily, I reach for my leather jacket, quickly grabbing my keys and dashing out the door. I don't know where I'm going, I don't know what i'm doing, but as I hear the faint echoe of Joe calling my name I knew that I had to get out of there. Maneouvering myself into a sitting position once I reach my destination, I kick off my shoes, throwing it somewhere on the ground and sit cross-legged on the rough sand letting the ocean waves calm me.

A soothing tranquility suffocates me and I feel a wave of the past hit me in the gut. I haven't been here in so long that it actually hurts. _This is where we first met. _

"Somehow, I knew you'd be here." A voice rumbles after a few moments, shifting into a sitting position to the side of me.

I narrow my eyes into the view infront of me, seeing the sunset break through the clouds.

"How is she?" I whisper.

"She's... she's coping, Nick." Demi says softly. "She's trying to deal."

_Silence. _"It was right here, on this beach." I reminiscence, and Demi smiles at the prospect of hearing the story she has heard so many times before. "I needed to clear my head and happened to walk down onto the beach and I saw this little girl crying her heart out, so I went up to her & she was the prettiest girl I've ever seen. I vowed then and there that i'd never let anything hurt her. I didn't realize I would fail."

"Nick, you didn't fail." Demi insists, shaking her head wildly. "None of this is your fault. No one could predict any of this."

"None of this would've happened if I'd just been there!" I wail. "I was dumb. I was foolish, I let one out of the blue decision make me lose one of the best things I've ever had in my life and I'd take it all back just to see her okay again. Just to see her smile."

"But you can't." Demi hesitates, throwing the truth out there. "This isn't a movie, Nick. You're _married _now. She's a different person now. This is reality and reality kind of sucks but that's the way its twisted little mind works. Someway or the other, even if you stayed, this would've happened so we might aswell deal with it."

I stare at her incredulously. "How can you be so okay with this?"

"I'm not." Demi croaks. "I hate seeing her this way and I hate waking up in the middle of the night to her kicking and screaming and scared shitless out of her mind. But I have to. She needs me, Nick. My support is all that keeps her going and so, I'll stay positive and deal with this even if it hurts every time."

I let her wise words sink into my brain. She's always been wise in her own snarky and confusing way amd I admire that about her. When things went downhill between her best friend and I, I knew leaving Miley in the hands of her would be a good thing.

"She cries out for you, you know?" Demi admits, her dark eyes staring deep into mine. "Every memory, every time. It's always you she's looking for to save her. "

I gulp, feeling a swerve of emotion swallow me up. "Why are you telling me this?"

Demi stands,knocking off the sand that has gotten on her pants before leaving but her departing words stay embezzled into my brain.

"Because I know deep down, you're the one that does."

A feeling runs through me. It's so strong and mighty and life-changing that I shake a little at the thought. My breath is taken away, my heart skips a beat and there's a twitch in my soul that I haven't felt in the longest time. My epiphany has come. Right there, right now, it hits me the hardest. I love her, I always have and as I think of her all I want to do is kiss her senseless and take away all her pain. I always will love her and even though everything is a struggle and things aren't right and this shouldn't be the way things are meant to be, I'll take it anyway.

She may be a mess, and imperfect, and carrying a whole lot of baggage.

But she's my mess, she's my trainwreck, she's my imperfection and that's all I need.

She's _everything_.

I leap to my feet, running to my audi and slam the door shut as I drive away. Because everything makes sense. Because I still love her. Because I need to fix my mistakes. Because I need to get my shit together.

Fuck, I've gotta get a divorce.

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**An- **_Omg! _So, you see a little of what Nick is thinking and what happened to Miley is revealed. I couldn't give everything away just yet so you most likely will hear about the fallout between Nick and Miley soon, preferably next chapter. All in all, I hope you enjoyed. Have a happy thanksgiving.

Love, Nicki M.


	3. Chapter 2: No air

**An- **I can't believe it's almost been like a _month _since i've updated **gasp** I am _sooo _unbelieveably sorry. It wasn't of my intentions, honestly, I meant to update like two days from last chapter but life got so busy that I couldn't keep up. I was just stressed, with life and work and school and with writing, I just couldn't juggle it all. I appreciate you all however and your reviews, thank you so much, it was nice to come back to the writing game to know that I haven't been forgotten by my readers and that my story means something to them. I don't write because it's fun ( although I love that part) I write to reach out to others and awaken something in someone's heart and the fact that I get people telling me that's exactly what I've done makes it all the more worthwhile. I hope you love this chapter!

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**Chapter 2: No air**

_'I'm here alone, didn't wanna leave, my heart won't move it's incomplete, wish that there was a way to make you understand...' _

**Nick: **

Raking a hand through my curls, I stand infront of the door completely frozen, completely overwhelmed with emotion. _This is it. _As I think, multiple scenarios run inside of my head taunting me and suddenly I'm nervous. What if I regret this? What if I'm making a mistake? What if I'm wasting my _time? _It's been close to five years since that passion between me and Miley existed. Can I really just throw away the life that I have created for myself, my future and my security for something that burned in the past? Can I really just let this all go?

Suddenly, everything blurs around me and I'm taken away into another world where all my most personal desires are playing out infront of me. I see white weddings and blue eyes ( beautiful beyond compare with that sizzle of life flaming about.) and another flash comes to mind and I see two kids. Brown curls, blue eyes and that _smile _and the other with light brunette hair, brown eyes and legs for days just like her mother.

I see my life with Miley and as that slideshow plays about in my head, I know im making the right decision. Being with Miley is tough ; she's pettish , childish, stubborn and starting arguments is one of her best qualities but I wouldn't change for that for the world. Because no body's perfect and underneath all those flaws, there's a heart so strong, so pure and filled with so much love that the world doesn't know how to control. She's beautiful, both in and out, and independent and smart and ridiculously good at quick thinking and making rational decisions. She's _my _idea of perfection and in that world I envisioned, I see true happiness and bliss and passion that shines through the love that we have with each other.

Opening the door, I enter my matrimonial house burning with guilt and sorrow for the action I am about to do. Our wedding picture taunts me as I walk through the hallways and immediately I flip the picture face down. Because she's _smiling, _she's happy, she's _in love _and the fact that I am about to crush her heart and tear it into pieces isn't something I'm necessarily proud of. I'm shocked to see her, laying on the couch, suitcases surrounding her while her body shook rapidly.

"Sel?"

She looks up at me, her face dripping with mascara. She wipes it away quickly.

"This isn't working out." She mumbles sadly. I'm speechless.

She smiles sadly, nodding her head to the object in her lap. "I found it hidden under the bed."

Immediately, the guilt swirling inside of me rises as I recognize the box situated in my past and my eyes flush closed both embarassed and ashamed.

"I thought I finally had you." She chuckles in disbelief. "I mean, I watched you try and get over her. I watched you struggle with life and yourself and your heart and then things started boiling with us and I thought maybe you could actually get over her. I thought you _had. _Obviously I was wrong."

"Selena..."

She raises a hand to stop me. "Don't." She sniffs, a tear sliding down her face. "You asked me to marry you, Nick. _Me_ and I fell for that, I fell for you and I was so sure the past was behind you so I said yes. _I _said yes!"

"I never meant to hurt you." I whisper and she scoffs.

"Well that plan obviously backfired, now didn't it?" She sighs. "And the worst thing is, deep down I've known this all along but I just didn't want to admit it. I can't stay married to you knowing that you love someone else. I-I won't be that girl."

I nod my head in understanding and at the same time regret. Because I regret the fact that I haven't figured out my feelings sooner and I regret the fact that I've caused her so much pain because of it. She's a wonderful girl, with a wonderful heart and beliefs and morals that will change the world someday. She's so fragile and the fact that I'm literraly breaking her in two doesn't sit well with me. I've fought so hard to not be that guy.

"I do love you, you know?" I whisper, looking at her squarely in the eyes. She smiles sadly in my direction.

"You're just not in love with me." She fiddles with her wedding finger. "There isn't anything I can do to make you forget about her, huh?"

Slowly, I shake my head no and she nods in acceptance, closing her eyes for a moment as her eyes start to well up with tears. She approaches me, caressing my face with her hand before leaning in and kissing me one last time.

"Take care of yourself, Nick." She murmurs painfully, dropping her wedding band in my hand, grabbing her suitcases and walking out that door and my life for the rest of eternity.

I sink into the couch, wiped from any thoughts and any emotion. Inside, I feel a crack from where a piece of my heart breaks. I did love her, I _do _love her. Selena helped me move on, she awakened me in one of my darkest moments and inspired me to reconstruct my life and forget about the past. She was kind to me, good to me and I fell for her easy going nature and understanding ways. She was _safe. _I knew she could never hurt me. We agreed on basically everything, she didn't push me, she didn't drive me to insanity half the time and I spent the years of our marriage trying to love her 100%, trying to give her the man that she deserved.

(It was a fail.)

Reaching for the box, I open the lid, feeling all my past events hit me in the face as I'm swallowed back into time, into happiness, into love. I bury my hand into the old notes, silly gifts and random pictures before holding one that has me swelling with every emotion known to mankind.

Her waves fall down her shoulders perfectly. Her face is full with embarrasement, shown by the tint of her cheeks. Her eyes are sparkling and radiant while her smile is bright for the world to see and she looks absolutely beautiful that I'm completely blown away. She's _Miley _and I'm determined to get her back, whether I have to sweat or die just to do so.

And then, I sign the divorce papers sitting at the middle of the table.

Not soon after, I remove myself from all thoughts as I race down the streets, eager to go back to the one place that I haven't stopped visiting even when I was '_happily married' _to Selena. The same place Demi inspired me to look into my heart and my revelation came to me. I honestly do love that place. It's not just the fact that there is so much history there, that that's where everything started between me and Miley but the place itself. It's a way to escape, it's a way to let go. Just looking out into the sky and letting the wind blow through your hair soothens you and makes you forget about the world and your problems.

It's my saving grace and as I reach that familiar safe haven, I realize that it never fails to dissappoint as I catch the figure sitting on the sand, knees high up to her chest wrapped up in herself. I can't help myself from approaching her.

"Fuck!" She curses, jumping and I smile a little at that. She's always cursed when surprised.

"Sorry." I murmur sincerely. I get lost by the fear in her eyes and immediately I feel hurt rush through my veins as she cowardly backs away from me, shutting her eyes before taking a deep breath.

She's scared of me. I expect dislike, can tolerate hatred atleast but the fact that I scare her hurts more then all of that combined. I know it's an after effect of what happened but it hurts all the same.

"It's okay." She exhales, unconciously pulling her hoodie down further to cover her face before looking out into sea.

I take the fact that she hasn't told me to get lost as a good omen and get on my knees beside her before mimicking her position. I smile in reminiscense. We always used to do this. Just sit here and watch, no words, no music, nothing but the sight in front of us. It was our thing.

I don't know how long it is that we're just staring out into space until our quiet moment is broken.

"There's flowers." She whispers.

"Huh?" I mumble distractedly.

"I wasn't expecting it when I went to see her but there it was. It was everywhere. White tulips just like she likes them."

She looks at me in a knowing way.

"I've never told anyone that but you." She remembers, catching on to my hidden little secret.

I remain silent.

"Why?" Her eyes burn a hole through my head as she inspects me.

"She means something to you." I offer. Her mom meant _everything _to her. I've never seen her so heartbroken about her death in my life. I knew leaving her behind was one of the hardest things she's ever had to do.

"You meant something to me too." She whispers softly, for a moment, I wasn't sure I heard it but I did.

And my heart dropped.

"Miley."

"Don't." She hisses, I can feel the anger sizzling through the body. "You left Nick. You gave up on us, on _me. _Just like everyone else."

"That's not true." I argue.

"I _trusted _you. I confided in you , God I let you in and you threw all that back in my face!" She cries emotionally, and slowly the tears start making it's way down her bruised face. " I thought I was safe with you, I thought I've dealt with the last hurt I could ever deal with. I was wrong and the worst thing is, you were the one that fell in that category. "

"You said no!" I explode, feeling a ripple of sensations whirl through me. She shrinks back in fear and I calm a little. "I asked you to marry me, Miley. I wanted you to be my wife, I wanted you to be the mother of my child. We talked about picket fences and four bedrooms and a red door just like you wanted. I never thought you'd be the one preventing us from having that."

"So you marry another? That's just rich, Nick."

"Miley..." I sigh. I've forgotten how much I can hate her sarcasm.

"I didn't say no. I said not now." She screams frustrated. "Everything was just going too fast. We've just settled into the real world. I just wanted to figure myself out first, figure out my purpose, figure out if I could make it and then you come and ambush me with all this commitment and I just wasn't ready. I wasn't ready!" She cries. " But you wouldn't listen to that, you wouldn't here me out! Instead you took off and ran,God Nick you left just like everyone else."

"Miley..." I murmur feeling like a total dick. Everything she says makes sense and for that, I feel stupid. I could've had all that. We could've had that fairytale ending and I blew all that to hell because of my pride and selfish thinking.

"No." She rejects me, backing away. " I _waited _for you. I cried out for you! I tried to forget about you and what I get in return is..." She closes her eyes in pain. " I called your name over and over and over and you didn't come. You weren't there."

_Silence. _

"Why couldn't you save me?"

I feel my own tears hitting my cheeks as I hear her wail out in hurt and confusion and _pain. _I never meant to hurt her. I never meant for this to happen. I love her. So much and yet I'm the one that destroyed her.

"I never meant to hurt you." I repeat like a broken record for what feels like the millionth time. I mean it though, I've never meant it. I've always tried to protect her from that.

"Too late for that." She cries, ripping her hoodie off her face and exposing her beaten up face to me. I feel my body shake with pain, hurt, distraught emotion, frantic anxiety. I _feel _her pain. He may have hurt her physically but I hurt her emotionally.

"I hate you." She spits out emotionless before taking off. I crumple on the floor, willing that the rough sand just swallow me away. I ruined her. I'm the reason for that rape. I'm her destruction and that alone kills me.

She doesn't deserve me.

* * *

**An- **Omg! _Intense _chapter. I hope that you were able to feel how Miley was feeling as well as Nick. I tried to piece in both their emotions in this chapter. Honestly, I really don't know what to say. All I know is that I hope that you enjoyed this chapter and that there will be quicker updates from now on. No more long hiatus. I'm currently writing the next chapter as I speak. I love you guys!

Ps. Did you hear about Demi?

I wish I could offer her my condolescences to her and her family. She's been through so much and the fact that she has to go to rehab is just so sad. I hope she gets better and that everything she needs to figure out becomes figured out. Get better Demi!

Love,

Nicki M.


	4. Chapter 3: Fireworks

**An- **Soo um, your reviews are highly appreciated, the key to my happiness actually and also the spring to my inspiration. As promised, new update coming soon I'm glad I kept my promise on that. I hope you guy's aren't too disappointed with this chapter !

**Chapter 3: Firework**

_'Cause baby, you're a firework come on, show em what you're worth...' _

**Nick: **

I've never been one for bad-mouthing, It's just not who I am and with the mother I grew up with it's either curse and suffer the consequences or not curse at all and receive praise for being the good child ; she claimed cursing was an offense to our religion and God and it provoked all the wrong that could happen in life to stumble into ours. As I rise, I rebel against my mother and send a silent prayer to God as I curse, feeling like death just swallowed me up and I was slowly being burned to ashes.

So, I'm being a little dramatic but that's nothing compared to the pain running through my body. My head is throbbing, feeling like tiny little men are pounding it with a hammer and every bone in my body aches making it hard to move much less _react _at all, if anything it felt like they were trying to prevent that by trying to come out of my body and split apart at the same time. Nevertheless it was an excruciating feeling that I wasn't particularly fond of and I found it ironic how it seemed to match my behavior, my life and the downward spiral that has been launched into it as of late.

_God, my life. _I murmur silently to myself, using every ounce of strength I had left in my body to pull myself into a sitting position, resting my back against the headboard thus allowing my sheets drape to my lower body. I groan automatically. Instant dizziness overwhelms me and all I see is stars.

"Whoa there, buddy." I distantly hear although the voice sounds eerily familiar. I shrug it off. I'm kind of busy trying to get some focus of my surroundings that I couldn't care less. So, I could be lying in my own grave right now, it wouldn't matter. Miley hates me, I'm _wifeless _and I'm pretty sure with some time , my family could get over it. That and I'm alive and breathing which means this person clearly has an ulterior motive.

Hands support me, and I accept blinking vastly as I finally have my world spin back in motion. I frown. _This isn't my room. _

"Kev?" I murmur. What the fuck? ( Curse word number two.) "What the hell are you doing here?"

"My house. Although I figured you didn't remember since you weren't exactly in your right state of mind last night." I eye him in confusion and he nods to the floor where I find a stack of beer bottles that are wiped clean, obviously having being drunk out of.

I drown in shame. Add this to the list of stupid things I've done over the last few years and I could honestly make a few bucks running a TV show for this.

Nick l'idiot. How fitting.

I slouch onto the bed groaning only to wince as the throbbing in my head increases.

Danielle hands something that resembles a pill at Kevin and a glass of water before smiling slightly towards me. I eye the bags under her eyes and the fatigued expression on her face, clearly she hasn't slept a wink last night. I attempt and fail to mirror the smile she sent me as I send her an apologetic smile. I'm the reason for her exhaustion.

"Here." Kevin mumbles, handing me 2 tablets and the glass of water and I down it down eagerly. _Anything for this throbbing to go away. _

Danielle eyes Kevin and they share that look, where they're like sending messages to each other without actually speaking before finally they reach a marital agreement and Danielle walks out of the room with a last glance at me, I can tell she's worried. I sigh as I hear the sound of the door coming to a close. I know what follows, questions and I hate questions. 'Cause questions lead to answers and answers lead to the things and actions that I have done that I wish I could just erase.

It's quiet for all of a minute as Kevin's eyes glaze over with sympathy.

"Out of all ways to react, I never thought you'd take this road. This is barking up Joe's alley don't you think?"

I smirk. "Must be hereditary."

"Nick." Kevin rolls his eyes. "There are different ways to handle this, drinking bottles to numb the pain isn't going to solve anything."

"There's nothing to solve, Kevin." I hiss agitatedly. "I made a mistake and I hurt the one person that means the most to me in the world and now she hates me. There's not much you can do with a situation like that."

"She still loves you, you know? She can come back temporary differences or not." I raise my eyebrows in confusion. How the hell does he know that? "And you're not exactly the cheating type, Nick. Your marriage is as good as saved. I don't think you should quit this long into the game when the game hasn't even ended."

I stare at him incredulously, letting his words sink into my brain. Upon my silence, he continues.

"I noticed your lack of a wedding band." He elaborates, nodding over to my bare ring finger that now held pale circles around it. A reminder of my broken marriage ( well broken marriage to be). And then everything makes sense. He thinks this is about Selena.

In a way it kind of is. I mean, I am heartbroken at the fact that I had tore apart the pieces of her heart and mislead her for so many years but this isn't the reason why I'd stumbled into that bar last night and drank away every bit of emotion swirling inside of me, this isn't why I'd drunk shot after shot to get ride of the pain eating away at my soul, this isn't why I'd dizzily ended up at Kevin's home in a drunken stupor.

_I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. _Her words circled through my mind, again and again and again and each time I'm overwhelmed with the hatred, the venom and the disdain laced inside of her voice. I close my eyes, feeling that pain reawaken all over again.

"It's going to be okay." Kevin places a hand on my shoulder. "She loves you, just remember that."

"But I don't love her." I whisper gently, revealing the truth. I open my eyes to gauge Kevin's reaction.

Open-mouthed, he blinks. "What?"

"I don't love her." I repeat strongly.

"And one drunken stupor made you realize that?" Kevin laughs. "Nice one, Nick but we all know your issues will be resolved and you'll be in love with her all over again."

"That's just it, Kevin." I snap agitatedly. I mean what part of I don't love her does he not understand? "How can we resolve our issues if I haven't resolved the one issue that is a major obstacle in our relationship? I'm not in love with her, I never have been."

"Nick..."

I interrupt him. "Miley's back."

Slowly, I watch as realization dawns on his face and a rainbow of emotions flood through him. Everything makes sense now.

"I..." He shakes his head a bit dazed. " I should've known Miley had something to do with this."

"It's always been Miley." I mumble, because it's true. Past, present, future she's always, always will and always will be that one person that has the key to my heart. I was a fool for thinking otherwise.

"I take it you told Selena." Kevin responds and I nod.

"I didn't have to." I look away in shame as his eyes flicker to meet mine. "She found the box."

"Nick." First disappointed sigh and a bunch of other ones to come.

"I never meant to hurt her." I whisper, I never did. It just happened, as much as I wanted everything to be perfect, as much as I tried to be the loving, loyal husband she deserved it simply wouldn't work. I belonged to someone else.

"I know you didn't." Kevin murmurs shortly although I can tell he's a little pissed. He'd warned me not to marry her, he'd seen this coming, they all did and I had stubbornly told them that I was ready, that I was commited, that I loved her and this wasn't a mistake and then just when he was starting to believe it it turns out he'd been right all along. He's always loved Miley, she was like a sister to him but their relationship had faded when she disappeared and he found a new sisterly bond with Selena.

I could tell he was fighting the urge to punch me in the face. I kind of wish he would. I deserve it.

"So the girl that hates you..."

"Miley." I state.

"Because...?" He prods.

I look down in shame. I've never really told him why we'd split up in the first place. I hadn't told anyone. I was embarrased, I was hurt and a part of me knew that I was acting stupidly yet my pride was too hurt to save our relationship.

Bracing myself, I re-encount everything that had transpired between me and the women that held my heart from the past till the moment I saw her at Joe's , watching Kevin's expressions change throughout the whole way.

"Nick." Disappointed sigh number two although this time he glances at me with frustration.

"I'm a dick, I know."

"I could see why you needed those bottles." He agrees, rubbing a hand over his tired face. "So what are you going to do?"

"Nothing." I exhale dejectedly.

"Doubt it."

"She hates me, Kev." I point out _again. _

"She could never hate you."

"You didn't see her last night."

"And you clearly don't see how much you affect her." Kevin rebuttals. "She loves you, Nick but she resents you for giving up on her, she resents you for not being there, she resents you for leaving and so she hates you for the fact that after all that, she still loves you. She knows you weren't the cause for all that's happened to her but she settles on blaming you for it because out of everything, the pain of you leaving her hurt more then the physical."

I ponder his words of wisdom, feeling a slight spark grow within me... Could he be right?

"She's keeping you away but inside she's asking for you to rescue her. She's pushing you away, but inside she wants you to come closer. She's just scared. She's scared of losing you, and _feeling _and getting lost into those emotions, into that relationship all over again only for you to break her heart and leave and so she says spiteful words and distances herself to protect herself." Kevin smiles slightly. " She's been through a lot, Nick. She just wants to know if she can trust you."

"She can." I answer, completely sure of myself. I'd never pull the same mistake a second time. I love her, I'm in love with her and if I have the chance to have her again, I'd never let her go.

"Prove it." With that, Kevin approaches the door before turning his head back to me to say his last final words. " You're her rainbow after the hurricaine, Nick so why don't you help her get through this hurricaine?"

I sit for a few moments, completely entranced in my own thoughts. He's right. He's fucking absolutely right. I'm not proving much by just sitting here, wallowing in self-pity. She just got back and I'm pretty sure she'd learned of my marriage, I shouldn't have just expected her to just run along into my arms the minute my ring left my finger.

She's bruised, she's broken, she's hurting, she's suffering and I'd been one of the people to make her suffer, to cause her that build up of pain she's had to deal with for the last couple years. She needs a constant. She needs reassurance and damn it, I'm going to give it to her.

She's mine.

I eagerly stand, brushing the sheets of my body and take a quick shower, making sure I look presentable for what I'm about to do. Thank God i've fortunately slept here a couple times to the point where I'd left a few clothes to change into. Once I finish my shower, I quickly change and run a hand through my ringlets.

Doing a once-over in the mirror ( and yes, guys do that. I'm not _gay.). _I take a deep breath, long-gone the hangover now replaced with determination with drive, and with love. Miley Stewart had spiraled back into my life by chance and there's no way I'm letting her get out. I'm making sure of that.

I hustle past Kevin and Danielle in the living room, sharing a smile with Kevin before darting out the door. I ignore Danielle's bewildered expression ( I'm sure Kevin will fill her in later) and race to my car, the whole time my heart beat accelerating.

My heart pounds even quicker as I get to the door. _Joe's _door. I'm not gonna lie, I'm freaking scared out of my mind, nervous actually. Instantly, a million possible scenarios run through my mind and I'm about to chicken out and take the easy way out. I can't do this. And then I snap myself out of it. I've been doing it my whole life; taking the easy way out, being a chicken and I refuse to do it any longer. With no hesitation, I ring the doorbell.

Minutes later, the door swings open and Joe's face comes into view. "Nick."

His tone is angry and his jaw is set. He's furious. Clearly he knows what happened with Miley.

"I need to see her."

"Not going to happen." My mouth opens in protest but he interrupts me. " No, Nick. You've caused her enough damage. She was up all night crying because of you and I'm not going to let you get all up in her face and give her more problems. She's got too much on her plate for you to be the main course."

"Joe... I love her." I plead, my eyes begging, _desperate. _

He's silent for a while, his eyes narrowed as he inspects me until reluctantly he opens the door.

I sigh in relief.

"I'm trusting you." Joe says, attracting my attention away from my thoughts. "Don't make me regret it."

"I won't." I assure him and he nods. That's the only source of acknowledgement I get from him. I roll my shoulders, I'm not here for him anyway. Slowly, my presence is noted.

"What is he doing here?" Demi asks, her eyes flickering to Joe's accusingly.

Miley's eyes widen as she sees me and automatically, she flies backwards getting ready to bolt up the stairs.

"Miley." I grab a hold of her arm. She winces and I let her go. I'd almost forgotten.

I sigh. "We need to talk."

"Nick, I'm tired." She protests weakly.

"Please." I beg. I need her to hear me out.

"I think we've said all that we need to last night, don't you?"

"We're getting a divorce, me and Selena." I reveal, she freezes, her foot at the bottom of the stairs. "She found my box. For five years, I'd stashed each and every item, notes, letters, silly little gifts that represent us and our relationship, _you _into a box because I didn't have the heart to throw it away. I couldn't let go of them, I couldn't let go of us and I couldn't let go of you and for years I tried to forget. I tried to forget the way you make me feel and our goodbye and the fact that my heart beats for you and so I married her to do just that and I never could. "

It's eerily silent and even the sound of Demi yelling at Joe comes to a stop.

"And then you came back, and everything just rushed back and I couldn't go through with it all anymore. I couldn't keep lying to the world, to Selena and most importantly myself about the way I feel about you. Because the minute you left, you took my heart and my soul with you. Because the minute you left you took my breath and the minute you came back, my breath came back and I won't let you take it away again. I love you, Miley, I'm in love with you and I'm not letting you go this time." I spin her around, looking into her beautiful oceanic eyes. "And I know you love me back."

She looks at me with tear-filled eyes and I silently plead with her to not let those tears cry, because honestly I don't think I'd be able to handle it.

My hands brush along the puffiness of her cheeks, and the cut above her eyebrow and then her swollen lips. "Whether it be as lovers, friends or just acquaintances I'll be there, I'll support you, I'll be that guy that you need. _I promise._"

"You're my everything." I murmur affectionately.

Hesitanty, my lips linger on her forehead and with one last glance at those indescribable eyes, I distance myself from her, flashing her a slight smile before passing the speechless people around me and walking out the door.

This wouldn't be the last she'd see of me.

I'm armed, I'm ready and I plan to stay this time.

And nothing is going to stop me.

* * *

**An- **Go kevin! Haha, this isn't the route I expected to take but, hey. It worked, I hope you all like it. I have an exam to study for and I was up all night writing this for _you _instead. Hm Nick is going to prove to her that he' s worth it. Interesting. I've got a few tricks and ideas on my sleeve about how he can make it up to her and get her back but if you've got some ideas, feel free to jump in and tell me!

Until next chapter,

Nicki M.


	5. Chapter 4: Breathe me

**An- **Soo umm thank you so much for the reviews! I never get tired of hearing them and I'm as excited as you are to see the lengths Nick will go to to get his ex back. Important note though, anonymous reviewers are welcomed ; you don't have to be logged on to the site or have an account on ff to leave a review, just click the green button, I'd love to hear from you!

* * *

**Chapter 4: Breathe Me**

_'Be my friend, hold me... Wrap me up, unfold me. I am small, I'm needy...Wrap me up and breathe me...'_

**Miley: **

I sit on the window seat, not really knowing what to think, not really knowing how I feel. Everything is just so jacked up that my messed up little mind doesn't know what to make of it. He wants me, _me. _He loves me, he divorced his wife who is probably much smarter and prettier and less difficult, for me. I don't know what he sees that's so appealing about me. Looking at myself in the mirror, I'm welcomed with that sensation of self-dread whenever I glance at myself in the mirror. There's nothing appealing about me anymore. I'm ugly, I'm worthless, he could do so much better yet somehow he has seemed to adapted this train of thought that I'm the one he needs, that he should love, that can make him happy.

The old me could have, the old me lived for that. This new me however just isn't capable of that. This new me can barely walk around town without frantically looking for someone prepared to attack me.

"Miley?" Her knuckles tap on the door twice before she allows herself in. "Hey."

"Hi." I whisper, shuffling over to create space for her. She smiles, immediately sitting by my side.

"You've got a visitor." Dem reports and there's an unrecognizable look on her face. I know how it is in an instant. _He's here. _

"Oh." I murmur, for a lack of better response as I try to absorb everything that has happened in the last twenty four hours. He hadn't been joking.

"What are you going to do?" Demi pries.

"I don't know." I reply back. I don't. I'm so confused. This situation is confusing. _He's _confusing. It just doesn't make sense. "Warning signals are going off in my head. I shouldn't want to be with him, I shouldn't want him to be a part of my life, I shouldn't want to let him in but I do, I want to."

Demi nestles me into a hug, kissing the side of my head. I feel my tense muscles relax a bit with her soothing touch.

"It's love, sweetie." She responds. Instantly I feel irritation crawl through me.

"What if love isn't enough?" I question with helpless eyes. I'm scared. Beyond freaked out of my mind. I'd trusted him, I've loved him once before and he'd crushed all that love and thrown it into the unknown the minute he left. I can't go through that again, I can't handle that situation again, especially if that situation is most likely going to happen again. Sooner or later, he'll recognize he can get better.

"True love is always enough, Miley." Demi's eyes flutter to a close and a little guilt rushes through me because she can sympathize with what I'm going through. Her true love is downstairs, waiting for her patiently but she won't succumb to him and let him in because she's too busy taking care of me. Sometimes I think, if Joe didn't love me so much, he'd snap at me for taking her attention. "No one is saying you should rush back into it or anything, too much has happened for it to ever be like it was before but you owe it to yourself and him to try it out. You owe it to yourself to see if there's anything left worth saving."

"You owe it to yourself too." I mumble, knowing fully well she can hear me. The missing puzzle pieces scramble together in her head as she recognizes the train of thought this conversation is heading to.

"Miley, don't start." She warns.

"Someone's got to."

"Well quit it." She snaps, automatically flushing with guilt as I flinch unconsciously. She sighs. "Look, I'm sorry I just- I can't , not now."

"You deserve better then this. You shouldn't be taking care of me, you should be married by now, having a bunch of Joe and Demi juniors and mouthing off about how you're going to kill Joe because he's managed to lose the kid for like the fiftieth billionth time. I shouldn't be your priority."

"You're everything to me." Demi whispers, her voice breaking as she looks at me with sincerity, truth and love shining through her brown orbs. "Joe needs to accept that and so do you."

I bite my tongue from retorting with my usual comment. Like I said, there's nothing special about me, not anymore. She shouldn't be sacrificing so much for my well being. I've accepted the monster I've become.

Instead, I nod my head and walk over to my closet, picking up my trademark hoodie and putting it on before grabbing some sunglasses and putting them over my eyes. They weren't as puffy anymore , the dark circles around them were starting to fade and my eye vision has actually improved a whole lot. It doesn't change anything though, those bruises that are scattered around the whole of my body are still there, a constant reminder of the night that changed my whole life. The emotional scars were still there. Demi's wrong about my development improvement. I pretend to be getting better to get her to stop fretting so much and live life for once.

We walk down the set of stairs together and I'm grateful that I'm wearing glasses as we reach the bottom stair. The minute our presence is recognized, Nick looks up and he looks so good and his eyes are so intense and if it weren't for the glasses on my eyes, I would've looked away from the intensity of it all. His hair is wild and curly and bouncing on top of his head just like I like it, he's wearing a fitted white shirt, gray skinny's and gray converses which I've always enjoyed seeing him in and that _smile. _

My knees become wobbly and I grasp onto Demi's hand in desperation.

"Hey." Nick's smooth velvet voice envelops me and for a second, I take a minute to just savor it. I used to wake up to that voice in the morning.

"What're we doing tonight?" I mumble, looking down at my shoes in order to avoid looking into those mesmerizing chocolate brown eyes of his. The more I speed this along, the faster this night can finish and I can get back to the comfort of my own bed.

"I was thinking we could go out tonight, if you want ." His arm finds its way behind his neck, nervously. " I found a great spot and I think you'll like it. "

Instantly worry alerts start to flash off in my head. Outdoors means people, people means prying eyes watching me, looking at me, feeling disgusted by me. I'm not exactly the world's greatest thing to look at anymore, to be frank I don't even know why he _wants _to go out in public with me. I'd be ashamed.

"Okay." I murmur decisively, reaching forward to grab my leather jacket. Nick's eyes brighten and I smile a little, he's so cute. I ignore Joe and Demi's slack-jawed expression. _It's for them. _I tell myself. They'll spend some time alone together, blurt out their love towards another and all will be right with the world but I know my motives aren't for that alone. I _want _to spend time with Nick. My rapid heart beat is proof of that.

Joe gives Nick what looks like a warning look and I squeeze him into a hug, smirking at him with that knowing look of mine. He should be able to decipher the meaning behind it all. Demi wraps me into a sisterly hug.

"It's not going to work." She whispers accusingly.

I roll my eyes murmuring a quick 'sure' and she smiles at me. "Let yourself have fun and eat something."

"No promises." I simply say, before heading out the door Nick opened for me. I gulp, this is it. Me and Nick, unchaperoned. It sounds ridiculous as the thought fleets through my mind but I can't help it. It's been so long, so many things have transpired towards us, so many words have been exchanged since I got back. I can't help but contemplate how this whole ordeal will turn out.

I can't help but grow excited about it too which pisses me the fuck off. It bothers me how he affects me, he hurt me, he crushed my heart and yet I still get giddy whenever he smiles at me, I still think about him constantly. I still love him. Forcing myself away from my thoughts, I arrange my hoodie to cover my face, slide into the car and look out at the window.

It's silent the whole ride that for a second, I'd forgotten that he's next to me, his knees close enough to brush up against mine, his hands close enough to touch. His body so close to look at, it's tempting really, all of it. I'm tempted to just stop the car and kiss him senseless like I've wanted to since my eyes first landed on him again. I'm tempted to just fuck the past and mend things with him. I'm tempted to break out of my shell, come against the laws and walls that I have created for myself. But I _don't. _

"Miley." He whispers softly, attracting my attention towards him ( as if it were ever _not _on him.) "We're here."

He gives me a gentle smile, you know teeth and all and I eagerly look out the window in order to escape me drowning into those eyes of chocolate. The sight I see nearly takes the breath out of me. We've parked in front of a terrace and there's a beautiful lake glistening underneath the sunlight which we know will soon rest for sunset. The skies are blue and the atmosphere is welcoming and there's no one in sight. All that could be seen and heard is the movement of the palm trees swaying about slightly. It's absolutely breath taking.

"Nice, huh?" He grins over at me. " I found this place driving aimlessly around town one day. I don't know,I guess I was looking for an escape of some kind and the beach held too many memories so I ended up here."

"It's beautiful." I manage to reply, completely in awe as I get out of the car, taking of my glasses as I walk unto the terrace.

This place is what makes me so marveled at the fact that there is so much cruelty in the world, so much wickedness when there is so much goodness and beauty lurking about. Letting my eyes flutter shut, I envelope the positive feelings fluttering through me just by being in a near distance of it. I feel like I can fly, I feel like all my past troubles and anxiety are being carried away by the wind and swallowed up by the window. I feel... like the old me.

My hands shook with the urge to take a picture.

"I had a feeling you'd say that." I hear Nick say and my eyes shoot open as a sharp object falls into my hands. I manage to catch it just in time.

"How did you...?"

"You've always had a fire for photography. We could hardly ever keep you and a camera apart." He laughs, making my cheeks turn pink in recognition. "You loved capturing the beauty in simple things. Its one of the main reasons why I brought you here."

"I.." Speechless, I blink at him. "You remembered all that?"

"I remember everything." His eyes, intense and burning with passion lock with mine and for a minute, holding gazes, its just me and him, him and me like it should be.

_Snap! _

"Wha...?" Nick murmurs, recoiling a bit as he blinks in surprise.

"You forgot the part about the element of spontaneity also being a great way to take a picture." I smirk.

"I.." He shakes his head, momentarily shocked at my behavior and I giggle, which in my good mood I fail to be surprised at. "I'll get you back."

"No, you won't." I laugh, and it's a real genuine laugh and I forgot how great that feels. "Now turn around and pose for me while I try to make you look useful on camera." I tease.

"Unnecessarily harsh." He whines, but as instructed he poses and ridiculously too might I add which has me erupting in laughter.

After a few practice shots on Nick, I finally manage to tear myself away from obsessively taking snapshots on him and use my magic on the real thing. Frantically and almost possessively, I lose myself taking pictures of the beauty in front of me, of the beauty of nature. I've always loved this feeling, I've always loved photography and it isn't until I've had my thumb on that button preparing to take a shot did I realize how much I missed it.

I don't know how long it is that I take pictures with Nick just watching. Most times I'd ask him to come back on screen for me and do a few poses to associate with the scenery just because I wanted to; he truly is _beautiful. _He brightens up the scenery and together with his beauty and the beauty of his surroundings creates one beautiful picture.

Later, Nick stays frozen in place suddenly deciding its his turn to be the photographer.

"I'm the one who brought us here, I think I'm entitled to a few shots." Nick states stubbornly.

"You're not as experienced." I rush out, truthfully I just didn't want him to get a hold of the camera. I felt powerful, fearless taking those shots. I don't want to lose that confidence I'd acquired so quickly.

"I'll be the judge of that." Nick smirks, softly taking the camera away from me. I frown, looking away and allow my sadness to float away as I'm instantly enveloped by the scenery in front of me again. I flutter my eyes shut at the sensation filling through the whole of my body, comforted by the sound of the camera clicking away in the background.

Abruptly, my eyes flicker to Nick in a state of surprise as the lights from the camera saunter my way.

"What are you doing?" I wail, effortlessly trying to hide myself from the camera but I know it's futile. He'd already taken the picture.

"Capturing the beauty in simple things." Nick responds and I scoff at that, feeling anger pump through my veins.

"Taking a picture of me won't help." I hiss furiously.

Nick's face falls and suddenly he's looking at me with an incredulous expression.

"What?" I spit out, my tone with more attitude then normal. I can't help it, he's looking at me like if I've got three heads and its a little unnerving. I can't help but be scared, maybe he's realized how completely ugly I am. _I shouldn't have said anything. _

"You think you're not beautiful." He mumbles dazedly, as if he can't wrap his head around the fact that I think of myself as this vile, disgusting creature. It's true, Nick. Wake up and realize it already!

"I'm no model." I murmur, avoiding his eyes as the tears gather in my eyes adding on to my frustration. I vowed myself I'd never cry again, not ever, ever since that night I turned up like this and yet in less then a week I'd managed to screw that vow altogether. I used to be something that can at least fall into a category of a model, I was pretty. I had long, flowing hair that shone under the sunlight, lean and slender frame and legs that went for days that drove all men wild, preferably Nick. Nick always claimed however that it was my eyes that drew him in, something about looking like the ocean and it always being vibrant and unique and one of a kind.

I'd kill to have that back.

"Look at this."

"Nick." I protest.

"Just look at it, Mi." He's firm and insistent and I sigh as I prepare myself. I probably won't see anything but pitch darkness. I'm not pretty enough to be in front of the camera anymore; I probably broke it.

What I see however is completely different then I expected. I'm facing the water and my eyes are closed, my long thick eyelashes visible. My hoodie had long since fallen, exposing the whole of my face but the sun lay over my skin, making my sun-kissed skin look perfect. I had a bright smile on my face, my posture and my face looked totally relaxed. I looked at peace with myself, I looked serene even.

"That looks pretty beautiful to me." Nick murmurs, eying me with passion and love and adoration and a longing for me, a yearning for me that I'd always longed to see on his face since the moment I came back. "You _are _beautiful. Whether you believe so or not, to me you're perfect and soon enough, I'm going to make you realize it."

"I'm a train wreck." I quip back. _Why bother _is what I'm really saying.

"You're my train wreck." He admits, intertwining my fingers with his before leaning his forehead on mine and kissing my forehead. I'm too speechless to speak, too speechless to even form a cohent thought. Without even realizing it, I'd pushed myself closer to him,clinging on to him before melting into his embrace, tightly pressing myself against him as his arms wrap around me securely.

In his arms, I feel safe. In his arms, I feel protected. In his arms, I feel alive and I realize then and there that I don't ever want to escape that feeling, that I don't ever want to let that feeling go.

For a minute, I relieve myself of the tension and the problems and the walls guarding my heart, myself and just allow myself to feel. I allow myself to hold on to this moment, to relish in this moment for as long as I can.

That moment was the moment, I realized that my walls, despite my knowledge were slowly slipping away.

And I found myself somehow wanting it to.

For a moment, I began to feel like there is something worth saving.

* * *

Oh! Miley is starting to give in to Nick. What to do, what to do, what to do! Keep in mind that she hasn't given her whole to Nick, yet. He hurt her and she's still suffering from the impact of not just that but recovering from the traumatic events that had happened to her. She's messed up, it's going to take a while for her to fall into that level of intensity and passion and act out on her feelings for Nick. It will happen though! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and that I didn't let you down too much. **Reviews are love. **

Much love,

Nicki M.


	6. Chapter 5: Cosmic love

**An- **Thanks a bunch for the reviews, as usual it's so satisfying to hear your thoughts ( the positive feedback is always taken greatly). I'm going to attempt to cut this little author's note short so yep.. _enjoy!_

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**Chapter 5: Cosmic Love**

_'I took a star from our eyes, and then I made a map and knew that somehow.. I could find my way back.' _

**Nick:**

Letting my thoughts scramble together and take over the world, my eyes narrow as my sensations get the better of me from within. I look to the front, captivated and mesmerized by the view infront of me. I 'd known it was a great choice taking Miley here and I'm glad I did. She'd fallen in love with it as quickly as I had the minute I'd laid eyes on it and it rapidly became our favorite spot; _our _spot. I couldn't deny her wish when she had demanded to come here once again, her wish is my command and since I want nothing but to make her pleased and show her my commitment and devotion to her, I oblige. It doesn't mean it's not hard.

Sparing a quick glance her way, I watch as her hair cascades round her shoulders blowing softly in the wind. Her eyes, naturally had fluttered shut and a slight hum had come out of her perfect, plump lips in peace. She looks extraordinary, as usual and as my mind replays that split moment the other night where she had gathered herself in my arms and stayed there- nestled there, like she _belonged _there- I can't help but want to wrap her in my arms again, kiss her, touch her, _reacquaint myself with her. _

Shaking my head, I abruptly move a little to the side. I can't trust myself with her so close, I've worked hard to get where I am with her, I've placed my all just to get her to so much as look at me and I'm not going to screw it up by scaring her; my stupidity can't be unleashed from it's prison.

"What?" I murmur softly, meeting her eyes as I turn to face her. I could feel her eyes burning a whole through me, evoking flames to erupt within me.

"What about your dreams?"

"Not existent, except of course around night time." I smirk.

She rolls her eyes, nervously tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "You know what I mean, Nick. We're always talking about my dreams and my ambitions and my lack thereof, what about you? You've always had a voice of an angel, you've always wanted to use it to help the world yet here you are in the shadows with me."

"None of that mattered anymore." I respond softly, rendering Miley even more confused as she peered at me through her thick eyelashes. I sigh, elaborating. "Inspiration led me to sing, Miley and inspiration is what motivated me to want to use that gift to inspire others. I lost that and with that, I lost myself along the way. What purpose is singing when there's no belief and truth in what you're singing for?"

Silence is all that could be heard as my words slowly sink in to her brain. I knew within time she could figure it out. She'd been my inspiration, always have, always will be and since I lost her, I pushed music away because of it; she'd been a part of my past and with me trying to reinvent myself, and reconstruct my life and force myself away from all memories of us, music became a part of my past aswell.

Duh.

"There's still time for you to live your dream, you know?" She mumbles.

"Ditto." I shoot back, letting her know that option clearly wasn't one-sided. "I saw you the other day, I saw the passion in your eyes, I saw _you. _You could still make something out of yourself, you could still capture the beauty in simple things. It's all up to you."

Miley sighs. "It's not as easy as you make it seem."

"Nothing's ever easy but that's what makes it all the more worthwhile." I rebutt.

I see her eyes harden and her jaw set and that fire spread through her body as she finally gets the meaning behind my words. I inwardly curse myself, i'd blown it, _of course. _Obviously stupidity had made it out after all.

"Why do you do that?" She barks, clearly frustrated.

"Miley..."

"Why do you let me _feel_?" She goes on, blinking at me and in her blue eyes I see a rainbow of vulnerability and emotion, desperation and turmoil floating to the surface. "Why do all of these emotions swirl through me every time you say those kind of things and those tingles arrive whenever we're together?"

"I..Mi..." I murmur hopelessly, a little startled. She rises obviously unaffected by my hopless pleas.

"I'm not worthy of it, Nick!" She shouts. "Don't you get it? I don't deserve it and I'm tired of pretending like if I do. I shouldn't be here and you and I both know it."

I grab her arm in desperation as she tries and leave. "You know that's not true." I mumble tenderly.

"Don't go there, Nick." She warns, breathlessly.

"You deserve me, you deserve love, you deserve life, you deserve everything life has to offer you and I can't just sit here and watch you turn it all away. _I'm _the one that doesn't deserve you, not the other way around."

"I gave up." She whispers ashamed, her eyes flickering down to the floor as she suddenly finds the tiny pebbles on the floor the most interesting sight in the world. I look at her in confusion. _What? _" The opportunity arose, Nick.I could've been freed, I could've struggled to liberty but I didn't. I fought him off for less then two minutes and then I offered him complete control."

I step back a bit, completely blown away as I try to digest the new information that had flown out of Miley's lips. I frantically stare at here, willing to look for any sort of lie, any sort of thing, anything that would indicate that her declarations weren't true; that she's fibbing. I find none. I fight to keep my anger stored within me, why would she do that? Why would she admit defeat? _Why? _

"Why?" I whisper, my cheeks enflamed with emotion.

"Nothing mattered anymore." She whispers dejectedly and I flutter my eyes shut, I can't even look her in the eye. "I drive people away, my mom, my dad, _you. _All the bad forces in the world seem to find solace in my destruction, in me suffering and I got tired of it. Why keep fighting against darkness when you know you can't win?"

"Miles..." I sigh.

"Take me home." She commands, her voice rough while her figure remained emotionless.

I reach out to her, and she shakes her head turning it to the side.

"Take me home, please." She whispers softly. I nod, my curls bouncing upwards and back downwards as I walk towards the car swinging by her side, opening the door for her before shutting it and racing over to my side. The engine starts and I drive, once again the silence being our only source of entertainment.

I've always hated silence, I mean i'm no fan of loudness and straight out hard-core rock ruckus or anything but I wasn't fond of everything so silent either. I can't help but drown in the silence and let it envelop me, secure itself around me. I have nothing to say, I have nothing I _could _say, nothing can make this situation better despite the fact that this situation hadn't been intended to be brought out in the first place.

I swerve onto a right, catching sight of the home that I have grown more attached and accustomed to then I've ever been in my life, the home that nestled the love of my life in it's arms every night and the home that was eagerly awaiting for her return. I sighed, looking at her through the rearview mirror as she hastily exits the car and bolts to the front steps.

I follow along after her, wincing as Joe automatically opens the door. Miley flees into the house as if fearful of getting contaminated and Joe's eyes trail after her in wonder before his eyes flicker to mine in anger.

"What the hell was that?"

I sigh for what seems like the fiftieth billionth time. _Better him then Demi. _

"I warned you not to mess with her." He warns, advancing towards me with fury swarming around his chocolate brown eyes.

"I didn't do anything." I respond sadly. I look up at him in defeat. "She gave up,Joe."

"What?"

"She didn't even feel like her life was worth saving anymore." I repeat the words circling through my head, taunting me.

"Nick..." Joe murmurs speechlessly, clearly he hadn't known of that part either.

"What if everything had turned out completely different? What if Demi hadn't found her in time?" I bite my lip, surpressing the emotion that I just couldn't handle facing right now. "She'd be gone. "

"Nick, don't think like that."

"It's not like if I have much of a choice." Bitterly, I stalk away getting into my car. I couldn't think, I couldn't speak, I just drove aimlessly around town with no sense of direction, no real motive; nothing.

I spend hours just listening to the sound of nothing, being comforted by the silence, completely confined in myself and what the world could have been like if she hadn't surpassed everything, if _she _hadn't returned and instantly, I feel the tears gather in my eyes. She's my world, she's my sunshine through the darkness, she's my inspiration through a dead end, she's my voice when I can't speak and the thought of her underneath him, motionless, speechless, willing to sacrifice herself unnerved me.

She could've died. She could've joined her mother up in heaven and despite the fact that a part of me would feel joy for her to get reacquainted with the person she held close to her heart and had mourned so long for, another part of me, the larger portion of me, the selfish part of me couldn't help but feel conflicted at the thought.

I would've never been able to see her again, I would've never been able to look into her eyes and tell her I love her, I would've never been able to hold her in my arms, I would've never been able to fall in love with her quirks and her fiesty nature and her kindness and her selfless heart. _Us _would permanently not exist anymore and that's what scares me the most.

I would've lost her for good.

I shake my head, willing myself not to spiral down that road. I won't let myself to get caught up in it, I won't let myself lose myself in the what-if world. She's here, in this world, in _my _world, in our hometown. She's safe and that's all that matters. With that in mind, I head home suddenly wiped out, tired and exhausted.

I hadn't even noticed it'd became night time.

Exiting the car as I arrive to the empty shelter I call a home, I notice the slight shadow of a person in my front yard and instantly my heart beat picks up as the hairs on the back of my neck stand up in alert. I wasn't expecting anyone, I never expected anyone unexpectedly and if someone were to suddenly render themselves to my doorstep, I would've gotten notice of it via cell phone.

I stayed glued to my spot as I come closer, recognizing the person in my line of vision.

"I'm sorry." She whispers, distraught and shaking. "I'm sorry."

She flies into my arms, grasping on to me in need and sorrow and despair.

"Make it go away." She mumbles, her cries muffled by my t-shirt. "Don't leave me."

"I need you."She breathes, so vulnerable, at the moment so small, as if she could shatter in any given moment.

Wordlessly, I pick her up as she clings to me, momentarily fishing in my jean pocket to find my keys before opening the door. I shuffle quickly to the bedroom, slapping the door shut with my foot before climbing onto the bed and instantly wrapping her in my arms. She melts in my embrace, fluttering her eyes shut, letting me protect her the only way I knew how.

"I'm sorry." She whispers sullenly. I can feel her breath on my skin making me shiver.

"Me too." I mumble, before letting my own chocolate eyes be closed off from the world as they shut.

She'd been through so much, she'd handled so many things and there was no way I could ever turn my back on her, despite the disappointment I feel towards her. Her protection, her safety, _she _trumps it all.

And together, we rise into slumber.

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**An- **Soooo umm, intense chapter huh? I'm not a big fan of angst but it had to be displayed in this chapter. Miley, as I've said before hasn't exactly completely healed yet and obviously talking about her dreams and ambitions and why Nick wasn't living out his made her react in that certain way placing back her walls, she's frustrated because she'd kept him from doing something he loved and she feels like she doesn't deserve it, she doesn't feel worthy and so she tried to push him away in fear that he'd realize that she's not worth it too and bail; she's recognizing that she's getting lost in him again and so naturally that's how she reacts, obviously it didn't work.

I didn't really like it, wasn't one of the best chapters, especially compared to the last one but whatever, I couldn't keep you guys waiting anymore and I know my weekends are completely busy as of late, considering my friend is in the hospital fighting off her own battles of sorrow so I couldn't update and conjure up a better idea. Hope it wasn't too disappointing. I

**Feedback is Love 3**

_Nicki M. _


	7. Chapter 6: The One That Got Away

**An- **Hii! So umm, away with 2011 & Welcome to 2011! I hope you all had a lovely new year btw. I'd like to start this new year however apologizing to you all about the lack of updates and the fact that it took me a _year _to update this next chapter. 2011 wasn't necessarily a great year for me, so many things transpired that were both tragic and emotional and I found that my muse had not been inspired to write and that I had lost my focus to continue writing. I hope however that you all can forgive me and continue to support me and have faith in me regarding this story. Despite everything, I make it a goal to finish this story, even if it _kills _me considering you guys deserve an ending to this story and a great one as well. Hope you all aren't too upset! I also ask that you bear with me on this chapter. It has been so long since I haven't written.

**Chapter 6: The one that got away**

_'In another life, I would make you stay, So I don't have to say you were the one that got away...' _

Stirring, I sigh in contentment. I've never felt this way when rising. Peaceful, serene, _well-rested. _It's not a surprise that _he _has managed to evoke these feelings within me. He's always had a way of affecting, inspiring and impacting each and every single part of my mind, body, heart and spirit. He's always had a way of making me be so vulnerable.

I don't know what I'm still doing here. It's obvious what I should be doing. _Run, _my mind whispers but yet despite the pull drawing me to do just that I stay rooted to my spot, sinking into his warm body and hesitantly intertwining our fingers together. It's been so long, five whole freaking years, yet somehow my body still nestles into his perfectly, my heart still drums loudly in my chest as his fingers dance down the whole of my body and my stomach still flutters with eager butterflies like the first moment we had met.

Inhaling, I mentally kick away all signs of nerves as I whip around, my eyes meeting his soft brown ones. I resist the urge to tangle my fingers into those thick curls like I used to.

"Hi." He whispers and I smile slightly.

"Hi."

"I didn't think you'd still.."

"Be here?" I interrupt, my cheeks becoming a shade darker as I blush embarrassedly. "Neither did I."

I hadn't noticed that my hands had gained a mind of it's own until his eyes looked down, looking to the destination it had traveled, right above his heart. A soft smile takes place on my face as my fingers brush along the words forever imprinted on his skin.

"Five years later and I still can't get over the fact that you got a tattoo."

"Scariest moment of my life." He admits, and I laugh. A sound that still marvels my own ears.

"I remember." I say softly, I can still picture his hand tightly grasping mine and the shock that had registered through every single part of me as he decided his first ( and _last _) tattoo would be my name. "I also remember how pissed your mom was."

"I've never seen her so angry before." He laughs, shaking his head at the memory. "She was livid. I've never wanted to not go home so badly in my life."

"Mama's boy." I tease.

"Just a little bit." He agrees, to which I roll my eyes at. Little bit? That man worships the ground his mother walks on. His eyes land on mine again, burning with intense passion, heat, love. "I wouldn't take that moment back though. Ever."

"Nick." I sigh.

"I mean it." Nick responds quickly. " And I know that your not ready to hear things like that yet. But I want you to know that. I mean it, every word. As scary as it was, I'd do it all over again in a heart beat."

"Even now?" Even despite what you found out last night is what I'm really saying.

"Even now." He assures me, hesitantly cupping my cheek. "Last night doesn't change anything, Miley and it certainly doesn't change the way I feel about you."

I nod, despite the fact that I am still unconvinced.

"I don't think any less of you." Nick tells me and I gape at him in astonishment. "I don't. I never could."

"I- How?"

"People make mistakes. We all do things we aren't proud of and I'm the perfect example of that. In that certain time and place, you felt that you had no choice, like there was nothing else you could do and as much as it irks me that you hadn't chosen differently, I can't do anything about it. It's already happened." He braces himself. " I didn't leave because I thought less of you, I left because the thought of living life without you indefinitely was something that I couldn't bear."

"I'm still here." I whisper, feeling my heart tear into tiny little pieces as I see the sadness in his eyes. His arm wraps around me tighter, as if the prospect of living life without my existence was still taunting him.

"If Demi hadn't found you in time, you wouldn't have been." He points out, his finger grazing the long scar situated at the far end of my stomach. A _reminder. _Most of the bruises were all gone, but it was the scars that would forever keep the memory of that night alive.

"Nick. You can't keep harboring feelings of guilt about an event that happened beyond your own control." I tell him gently.

"It is my fault." He murmurs and as his eyes twinkle in regret and despair, I can tell he's really convinced himself it was. Guilt flushes me as I realize part of him thinking so is my fault.

"It's not, Nicky." A ghost of a smile graces his face at the nickname. "It's not. You couldn't have known. You weren't even there."

"I should have been. Things would have turned out differently if I fought to make you stay."

"Maybe." I agree. My heart sinking at the images that suddenly flood into my head, images of long walks in the beach, babies and a wedding band on my finger. Images that seem so close to touch, yet so far away. " But things took a turn the way they were _meant _to take a turn , Nick and it's about time we both accepted it."

Nick looks at me bewildered and utterly confused and had it been an entirely different circumstance, I would have burst out laughing.

"I don't want to live like this for the rest of my life, Nick. I don't want to be this person forever. " The thought sends a sharp shiver down my spine. "And I certainly don't want you to spend your whole life thinking that I hate you. I never did and I never could. Despite the many times that I've wanted to." I admit.

"When did we become such a mess?" Nick questions, and I shake my head. We both know the answer to that.

"The moment we became adults." I quip, putting him out of his misery. I giggle as he pouts. My stomach growls loudly, effectively ruining the moment and he laughs.

"I should feed you. I'm not being a very good host."

"That you aren't but I should be heading back to Joe's. " I bite my lip at his deflated look, as much as I want to, I can't deny the inevitable. We can't live in this perfect fantasy forever, life goes on and I can't risk something that I am not ready for or will ultimately regret in the future happening when there are still so many unresolved issues between us. Besides I'm sure Demi is driving herself _crazy _without me by her side. We've never been apart for this long.

"Right." Nick concurs, walking over to his mahogany dresser to get a shirt. Disappointment is at the pit of my stomach as I instantly miss the warmth of his body next to mine.

He grabs his keys and an umbrella and looks up at me with raised eyebrows. "Ready?"

"You don't have to drive me, Nick. I got here on my own."

"I didn't feed you _and _it's still raining. The least I could do is drive you. " He smiles sweetly and I melt at the sight. "Besides Joe would have my head if otherwise."

I roll my eyes, smiling nonetheless before grabbing a hold of my sweater which had dried from the night before and placing it over my body. As we exit the house, I realize that I don't have the hood of my sweater covering the whole of my face and also come to terms with the fact that the realization of not having it on doesn't disconcert me as much as it should have.

In that moment, I realize that I am prepared to chuck away the mask that I have created for myself against the world and take in the fact, that despite me trying desperately to stop him from doing so, Nick Grey had managed to step into my personal bubble and get his head around another wall surrounding my heart once again.

The car ride home was silent, a comfortable silence however, a silence among other things that I haven't experienced in a long while. It's a little ironic how things have gotten now that there is no source of resentment or lingering feelings of guilt and hatred considering the history Nick and I share but I enjoy it nonetheless. I feel _lighter, _more at ease, like a heavy burden that had been suffocating me has been lifted off my shoulders. I feel a little more like _me _again. The Miley I used to be.

"We're here." Nick informs me and I shoo away the slight feeling of sadness brewing inside of me at the thought of not spending more time with him.

"Thanks." I whisper shyly. " For everything."

I don't even know what I'm doing until I'm doing it. Yet again, I find myself impulsively leaning in and wrapping my arms over his neck in a hug. Nick's hands stay firm to his sides however, as if he was in awe at what was going on before his hands comfortably find themselves around my waist. As if they belonged there, as if they were meant to be there. I push away the voice that tells me they were.

"Your welcome." He breathes as we pull away and I flush at the twinkle in his eye. _He's beaming. _

"I guess I'll be seeing you." I mumble, tucking a strand of hair under my ear nervously as my hands grasp the handle.

"Yeah.." He murmurs in a daze. "Wait!"

I raise my eyebrow.

"It's barbecue night tommorow." He says, and I smile. The barbecue nights at his parents each Saturday were always something that I enjoyed and I'm glad that despite the fact that time has evolved and years have passed by they have still managed to keep that tradition going. " I was, sort of wondering, if you'd like to come."

"Umm, sure. " I whisper after some time, surprising the both of us. I've missed his family, a family whom I have quickly come to think of as my own and the thought of reuniting with them again was something that I have longed for since I stepped back home. It has nothing to do with the hopeful look on his face, I tell myself despite the fact that I know better.

"Cool." He grins and I fight the urge to laugh. " So, Tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow." I repeat, throwing him a smile before getting out of the car and running unto the front porch to avoid being bombarded by the rain. I wave goodbye as I enter the house, exhaustion finding refuge in my body as a result of the last 48 hours and tiptoe to the stairs to avoid being seen.

"Hold it right there, sneaky." I hear and mentally kick myself.

_Busted. _

I whip around with a sheepish look on my face and Joe looks at me amusedly.

"Your lucky It's me and not Demi." He points out matter-of-factly.

"I know. She's not mad is she?" I ask guiltily.

Joe shakes his head and I sigh in relief. " No. Nick called us the second you fell asleep. She was worried though." He pulls me into a hug and my chin falls unto his shoulder as I hug him back. " We _both _were."

"I'm sorry." I bite my lip and he kisses my forehead lovingly.

"It's fine. Just find it in you to pick up a phone next time. A worrying Demi isn't a fun one."

"Could have fooled me." I smirk, referring to the smear of red lipstick on Joe's cheek. He blushes, wiping it away quickly.

"Must've accidentally landed there when I was putting her to bed." I raise my eyebrows and his eyes open wide. "That didn't come out right."

"Sure it didn't." I answer dubiously, something is going on between the two of them. I know it.

"One milestone at a time, Miles. One milestone at a time." Joe mumbles embarrassedly and I laugh at his humiliation. A blushing Joe is a sight I'll never get tired of seeing.

"I'm glad you guys are getting somewhere." I tell him in all seriousness. They mean the world to me and I'm glad all hope isn't lost for their future together.

"Same goes to you." Joe responds sincerely. "Happy looks good on you." He declares with a wink, before walking away.

It isn't until Joe has said the words do I let myself believe it. My relaxed nature, this peaceful nature within me. Everything is connected to it. I'm _happy. _For the first time in five years, I'm happy and as I walk up the stairs and into my room my happy smile becomes wider at the thought of the barbecue tommorow.

–

**An- **I hope you all liked it! Please click on the review button and tell me what you think!

Love,

**Nicki M. **


	8. Chapter 7: Let Me Love You

**AN-** So, please do not be mad, I'm _kind _of back. I realize that it has been forever and I deeply apologize for the long amount of time I have subjected you guys to endure when it comes to uploading this chapter. Once again my inspiration had gotten lost and did not find its way back until recently for this story. I hope you all can forgive me, I am making it a priority to finish this story as I have already begun to start plotting and writing following chapters after this one. I hope you guys can still continue to keep your faith in me, follow along and remain interested within the story, otherwise if deeply unsatisfied please let me know so I can discontinue the story and end here.

**Chapter 7: Let Me Love You**

'_Girl, let me love you, and I will love you, until you learn to love yourself….' _

"I take back what I said, I can't do this." I deadpan, nervously biting my lip as my azure eyes land on the modern two storey home I had spent the majority of my childhood and adolescence in within my line of vision.

Demi's fingertips brush my naked shoulder soothingly, her lips curling upwards into a soft smile. "Yes, you can. There's nothing to be afraid about, every single person in there loves you and you hold the same amount of love for them back. "

"I'm not the girl they love, Dem. " I reply with a dramatic hint of stubbornness. " I'm not the same carefree, spirited woman they witnessed leave this place five years ago."

"Your right, your not. Your even stronger, and I think that will just heighten and strengthen the love they have for you, not diminish it.."

I lean on to her side, her words slowly sinking into my brain as her arm wraps around my shoulders, her soft lips pressing against my forehead lovingly. Slowly, I feel my nerves dissipating at her actions and a sense of serenity flush over me. I honestly don't know if I would be able to go on or function if it weren't for Demi, and as much as it pains me to think that she had placed her whole life on hold and sacrificed an existence with her love by her side to stand by me I can't help but feel gratitude towards her for doing so.

Joe places a hand on the small of Demi's back, his chocolate brown eyes piercing into mine as if silently asking me if I were okay. I nod reassuringly, and thus we walk forward stopping in front of the home that I deep down knew to be warm, welcoming and inviting. I hadn't noticed we had entered until I spot a figure with a head full of messy curls smiling down at me.

"I was beginning to think you were a no show." Nick teases,

"Definitely an option, believe me. I almost passed out on the front lawn." I admit.

"Miley." He frowns; his chocolate brown eyes peering down at me with an inch of seriousness that I have never seen come across his face before in all the years I had known him.

"I know." I sigh, completely avoiding his gaze.

"They've loved you since you were 8 Mi. A love like that doesn't disappear because of a few cuts and bruises, who by the way are practically non-existent."

"Nick, I've still got scars the size of my own head."

"Scars of warriors, Mi. Scars of _warriors _" He retorts cutely, drawing a gentle smile from my lips. "Besides, those scars are in places they shouldn't even be able to see."

"Only you can find your way around making battle wounds sound naughty." I laugh, poking his side. "And they say you're a gentlemen."

"Can't be all good, where's the fun in that?" He mutters, dramatically shaking his head as if to reprimand me and I roll my eyes although I'm thoroughly amused.

"You did this on purpose didn't you?" I murmur, having noticed he had let the others go along without us so as to personally evade all my nerves.

"Don't I always?" Nick answers cheekily and I scoff pinching his cheek.

"You sneaky son of a bitch."

Nick smirks. "It worked didn't it?"

I scowl, and he laughs boldly intertwining our fingers as we step further into the house making my cheeks turn into a crimson color. I don't know how he does it but every time I'm with him I feel my guard lower just a little bit more, find the person I used to know slowly emerge from hiding and feel a power akin to amnesia hindering my nerves and negative thoughts.

A swirl of comfort and familiarity rise within me as we continue to pass every inch of the house, a rush of memories of my life together with every single member of this household rushing through my brain like clockwork.

Suddenly, familiar voices can be heard which instantly captures my attention and pulls me to an abrupt stop.

Nick's fingertips brush around mine in slow circles, keeping my nerves and tense energy at bay as I face his family, people I always have kept dear to my heart and considered relatives of my own.

"Miley." Denise mutters warmly, being the first to speak amidst the silence in the room as her hands instinctively fly to her heart.

"Hi." I whisper with a slight wave, awkwardly shifting one knee to the other. Nick's hands squeeze mine tightly and I take a deep breathe, ultimately moving forward towards the woman I had temporarily believed I would never have the courage to see ever again.

Denise's eyes water, rushing forward to envelop me in a hug and I sink into her motherly embrace tightly closing my eyes as I feel a wave of emotions resurrect inside of me. After the death of my mother, it had been hard opening up to anyone else but Nick, but with her warm nature, tender heart and loving spirit Denise, as well as every following member of the family had managed to tear down the walls guarding my heart and reside in it. She's been a mother figure, a second mother to me if you will, ever since.

"My sweet girl." She sobs, caressing my cheek with her soft fingers. "I have missed you."

"I missed you too." I admit truthfully, my voice growing thick with emotion.

She smiles widely, her eyes glinting with happiness as she squeezes me into another embrace, one I'm all too eager to accept.

"Denise." Paul, Nick's father says grasping our attention. "Let the girl breathe!"

Denise laughs, mildly stepping back to which Paul winks before wrapping his arms around me.

"Welcome back, Stewart." He greets affectionately, pressing a kiss on my forehead.

I grin at him, teary eyed. Looking into the eyes of the parental figures I had adopted within my childhood years, I mentally kick myself for ever thinking that they would not be able to accept me as I am, not be able to look past the person I have become and think of me entirely different as opposed to the woman they had known and loved. All I have witnessed from them upon my arrival is nothing but joy, happiness, love and adoration swirling in their eyes. They had not even regarded the physical differences between the woman who now stood before them and the person I used to be nor have they treated me differently, something I am ultimately grateful for.

Frankie steps forward next, my eyes going wide in awe as images of the young boy I had left behind is altered with the appearance of the young man standing in front of me, looking every bit like his father in a seventeen year old body. I laugh as he rushes to me in excitement, almost knocking me over.

Kevin who is the more reserved of the two, wraps his arms around me politely, exchanges kind hearted words with me before introducing me to his wife who I found was beautiful, intelligent and a complete match for the man I considered to be my older brother.

"Alright, I think it's about time we move this love fest outside, shall we?" Paul suggests.

"Food! " Joe and Frankie say in unison, excitement flashing in their eyes before they hurriedly run out the door.

"Boys." Denise sighs playfully, before hurrying along with Paul to break apart the wrestle between Joe and Frankie.

I share an amused look with Demi and smile as I feel Nick's protective arms wrap around my shoulder.

"You okay?" He asks, his beautiful brown eyes intensely peering down at mine.

"Yeah." I nod with a grin. " Never been better."

_I'm Home. _

/

"I swear I'm in love, Miley. You've gotta meet her!" Frankie says, eyes wide and bouncing in anticipation. Apart from his little rumble with Joe over the barbeque, Frankie has stayed glued to my side; comically entertaining me with his thoughts and quirky ways and with his latest new girlfriend who he was convinced was the woman of his dreams.

"Third one this month." Kevin responds with an eye roll. " Frank here is kind of a hopeless romantic."

"Chicks dig that." He argues, irritatedly running a hand through his head full of curls. "But this one's different. I know it. She's a red head."

I bite my lip, refraining from bursting in laughter and Kevin smirks. "Of course Frank, that makes total sense."

"I know love when I see it." Frankie heatedly disputes." And I refuse to be mocked any longer, Miley I'll talk to you when Kevin stops being a buzz kill."

I ruffle his head affectionately as he extracts himself from the conversation and emerges into the house with a final menacing glare at Kevin. Once completely out of sight, Kevin and I burst into laughter; my bones legit freaking ache from the amount of laughter I endured, I didn't think I had felt anymore liberated or free in that moment.

The moment comes to an abrupt halt, the laughter eventually fading away and the tension from earlier resurrecting. I may be a lot of things but I'm not blind nor stupid, I had noticed something off in the way Kevin greeted me and it didn't disconcert me as much as it should have that I expected it. Kevin has always been a little more guarded, hesitant around people; it had taken him a long time for me and him to have a conversation in the past as opposed to the other brothers, and it had taken him an even more significant amount of time to get used to my presence, to feel at ease with me, to open his heart towards me and to finally regard me as someone who would only be in his and his family's life in passing and accept me as family.

I also knew that it hadn't been particularly easy for him to mull over the fact that he had lost someone important to him due to the failure of a relationship that was mine and Nick's, and that it was like opening a pair of wounds he thought he'd healed seeing me again for the first time without so much of an email, phone call or celebratory card on his birthday.

"She's stunning." I whisper nervously, trying to deal with the prickle of guilt that automatically had taken control of my body as a reflex to my previous thoughts. "She looks like a keeper."

"Thanks." He responds politely, a soft smile however coming to his face as he regards his wife, nothing but love and pure adoration flashing in his eyes. "She's my world, I think I knew it the moment I met her. She kind of reminds me of you in some ways."

I raise my eyebrows in wonder and he smiles slightly.

"Don't let her quiet nature fool you." He teases, "She hasn't got a circus of a family, but she does have her share of brothers and sisters and they're loud and at times overwhelming so it's definitely rubbed off on her. But she's got the biggest heart, and I think that's what got to me the most; her ability to love and let people in, even when they don't deserve it."

"Kevin-" I start, but am rudely interrupted.

"I liked her." Kevin says, making my knit my eyebrows together in confusion. "Selena. I really liked her. She was genuine, and smart and caring and naïve and we hit it off instantly; it was a running joke that she was me in a dress, we had an understanding that till this day marvels me. "

"Why are you telling me this?" I murmur thickly, trying desperately to evade the hurt that had creeped into my body, the pain that tore through my heart and slowly crumbled it to pieces and the tears that were waiting to slip out of my tortured blue eyes.

"Because she wasn't you, Miley and that's the reason why I was so against that union." Kevin responds honestly and I blink, my mind opening and closing as I think of coherent words to say. " She helped fill the void that your departure left, but she was never able to completely wipe away your presence in our hearts, especially Nick. In the back of my mind, I knew that marriage was bound to fail and I was sure it would the moment you would return."

Kevin instantly places a hand on my shoulder, eyeing me hesitantly and I shoot him a watery smile, letting him know that it was okay, that I wasn't scared of him, despite the fact that his words had me absolutely petrified.

"It was all too rushed and forced and pretty soon we were all able to notice the forced smile Nick would wear, the solemn expression he held every day, and the way his eyes would brighten every time he saw a blue eyed brunette with long legs and a quirky nature that could give anyone a run for their money only for that somber expression to return when he realized it wasn't you, the person his heart was subconsciously looking for."

As if proving a theory, Nick turns around, effectively placing a pause on the conversation he was having with his mother as he seeks me out amidst the crowd, smiling widely as he finds me. I smile back, reddening as he winks at me before reluctantly turning back towards his mother.

"Dani's my world, Miley but your Nick's, and despite the constant hurt and pain that he has caused towards your mind and heart, I can assure you that he means it when he says that he's not giving up this time, that he'll fight for you and that he loves you and will keep loving you even if you refuse him till the end of time." Kevin smiles softly. "And as for me, I am willing to break down those walls and welcome you into my life. Your no selena, but you're the little sister I could never completely let go of and as much as I would like to keep that slight bitterness I have towards you for leaving the way you did without so much of a phone call, a huger side of me is just thankful that your alright and that we are able to give this another go."

Kevin finishes off by slowly stepping forward, before wrapping me in his embrace and I sob as I fall into him, resting my head in the crook of his shoulder like I had often done many times before.

"Welcome home, Miley." He whispers, his lips brushing my forehead and I smile at him, looking up at him with watery eyes.

"Thank you." I whisper back appreciatively, feeling an inner sense of peace wash over me as the guilt I had felt earlier quickly dissipate. I hadn't noticed that I had been carrying a longing for forgiveness from the people whom I had considered family until I had heard what Kevin had to say. In this moment, I grasp the forgiveness that has enveloped me and grab it by the horns, not wanting to let go.

/

Laughing in absolute mirth, I stick my tongue out childishly at Demi in victory and weasel out of her embrace. Karaoke was often a tradition in the grey household whenever it came to these family barbeques and Frankie had been all too eager to jump on stage, steal the microphone and commence the festivities despite the fact that he can't hold a tune to save his life, which if anything made it all the more amusing and had us doubling over in laughter until we jokingly '_boo_ed' him off stage; demi had been unsuccessfully trying to lure me into the spotlight for the past hour.

"Oh c'mon!" She sulks, her lips quickly frowning into a pout. "You have an amazing voice!"

"So do you." I smirk mischievously, tossing her the microphone. "And now the world can hear it."

"Bitch." She mouths with a glare, although there's a spark of pleasure filling her beautiful brown eyes as she makes her way towards the stage. Demi's good at many things, but owning the stage is definitely on the top of the list. She's carefree and entertaining, and her voice has the ability to have an arena of people watching her in complete awe and fascination. Music is definitely her thing and I hope that one day in the near future, she can put herself first, pursue the musical career she has always desired and inspire the hearts and minds of many with that angel of a voice.

I wink, giving her a thumbs up as she takes center stage and watch her unfold, losing herself into an alternate reality as her lips part and the lyrics pour out of her flawlessly. She's a godsend that one, honestly and its proven as she manages to reunite everyone in the room, tug at their heart strings and lull them into a trance that consists of only her and her mesmerizing voice.

Eventually, the air changes and I witness a crowd fill in the center of the room as Papa Grey lures Mama Grey to the dance floor, provoking Kevin to follow his fathers footsteps and suggest the same towards his wife. I smile as I catch Joe lurking about on stage, clearly working up the courage to ask the woman who has created this love frenzy to ditch the microphone and go for a spin with him.

"I guess that leaves you and me." A deep velvety voice drawls in my ear and I shiver, feeling goose bumps manifest through the whole of my body.

"And here I thought I could rope Frankie into dancing with me."

"Fancy dancing with me instead?" Nick inquires shyly and I bite my lip.

"Lead the way."

He grins, boldly intertwining our fingers before doing as instructed. I fall into the comfort of his arms as his arms situate themselves comfortably around my waist, my own circling around his neck before nuzzling my head in the crook of his neck. I sigh in contentment, despite the fact that my body is burning at the feel of his sculpted body flush against mine.

"Someone's brushed up on his dancing." I comment, after he had performed a notorious dip on the dance floor, a distraction clearly needed.

"I had no choice, _someone_ spent years giving me hell over my two left feet." He points out pointedly.

"Nick, you were horrible!" I laugh and he scowls.

"I wasn't that bad."

"You wiped me out for a good ten minutes at homecoming."

"You slipped and fell!" He disputes and I burst out into laughter.

"Really, Nick, really?" I shake my head in amusement, eyeing him with a knowing glance.

"You made me nervous. Even then." He admits tenderly, and I'm grateful for his hands around my waist as I feel my knees buckle. "I could never really function properly around you."

"Nick…" I mumble, a rosy color creeping on to my cheeks as my eyes automatically find themselves drawn to the floor. Nick's hands tentatively caress my face until his finger situates itself underneath my chin, my eyes having no choice but to look into those seas of dark chocolate.

"A blushing Miley is a sight I never get tired of seeing." He rasps, his eyes twinkling as my cheeks betray my mind and decide to redden even more.

"Must be your lucky day." I murmur sarcastically and he laughs, gently pushing the persistent strand of hair lurking in front of my face behind my ear and I pretend that my breath doesn't hitch at the feel of his delicate fingers against my bare skin.

_Oh boy. _

"Must be." He agrees, his eyes locked on mine fiercely as he twirls me around before having me spiral back towards him. "Come out with me."

"Okay." I sigh dubiously, at this point I'd follow him practically anywhere.

He grins that boyish grin of his before tucking me to his side, our hands still tightly intertwined as he leads me away from the dance floor. I don't see a thing as I follow along beside him as if hypnotized, nothing but his lush curls bouncing in the wind, his arms flexing in his white muscle shirt making me wish I could run a hand over his scrumptious body and the shape of his ass in his tight jeans.

Nick Grey has definitely changed in the last five years, and definitely for the better.

I hadn't been aware that we had reached our mysterious location until I feel Nick's lips on our intertwined fingers.

"Remember this?" He asks, and all previous thoughts are placed to the back of my mind as I look up and catch yet another primal piece of the past come about in front of my eyes, a part of my past that as usual tied me to Nick and our complex history.

"Who wouldn't?" I reply rhetorically, cracking a smile as I look at the tree house to the front of me. Apart from the place we had first met, this tree house Nick's dad had built for us a while back had been the go to place for many of our fun filled meetings. Save for the slightly broken shutters, it looks exactly the same.

"Wanna go up?" Nick grins and I roll my eyes, smacking his chest.

"In case you've forgotten I'm wearing a dress." I tell him, and his eyes darken as he gazes in my direction. I fidget a little under his glare, but I can't hide the fact that a part of me enjoys the look he is giving me. Want, lust, _desire,_ from any other person I would feel disgusted and violated but from Nick it comes off as appreciative, endearing; he makes me feel like I'm the sexiest woman in the world as opposed to the ugly monster I have become.

"So?"

I smack him on the chest again, this time applying more force and he clutches his stomach in laughter, his hands flying up in surrender.

"C'mon." He cajoles. " I promise I won't look."

I eye him warily and he cups my face in his hands, looking at me square in the eye.

"I would never do anything that would jeopardize my relationship with you, Miley. At least not again." Nick says, after catching the pointed look I had thrown his way. "You don't have to go up there if you don't want to. "

I bite my lip, pondering for a moment though I already know the answer. Despite the fact that there are warning bells going off in my head, I can't deny that I wanna go up there. I tell myself its because I am curious to how the inside of the tree house looks and not because I want to spend some quality alone time with Nick in a place that made up a lot of our childhood memories together.

"We're already here right?" I shrug, flashing him a smile before cautiously placing my foot on the steps. My smile widens as he places his fingers around my waist to properly position me so I don't fall and continue to confidently march up the steps, the echo following behind me indicating that he is doing the same.

I wipe the dust off my dress as I reach the last step and look around in amazement. Everything looks exactly the way we had left it. I could see the print of our paint filled fingers in the back corner, and the collage of pictures we had cut up of every special moment we have ever had together in this tree house.

"Makes you wish we were still kids, huh?"

"Yeah.." I agree wistfully,

"Look." He says, and I look over at him only to look over at the picture he was pointing to. A small smile appears on my face as I see our young faces smiling to the camera, his lips brushing my soft cheek. "Remember that day?"

"The day you first told me you liked me as more then friends." I nod, my mind replaying the moment right before my eyes.

"You laughed in my face."

"I thought you were joking!" I cry.

"Do you know how much courage it took to tell you how I felt only to have you laugh in my face? I was crushed." He jests, and I gasp in laughter.

"I'm sorry." I answer genuinely, "If anything, that was the only logical reaction I could think of. I waited so long for you to tell me those exact words and it felt like I was hallucinating when you did. I always thought you considered me more along the lines of a sister."

"Demi, yeah. You? Never." Nick tells me, and my damn cheeks betray my mind again. "You were the only girl I knew who could steal my attention every second of every day and have my heart racing every single time we were together. You still do."

"Charmer." I retort, refusing to look into his eyes and he grins.

"Just a little bit." He steps back, and goes further into the room. "C'mon. I wanna show you something."

He stops in front of a familiar wall and I grin as I read the bold letters sprawled over the whole of it. _N+M= Forever_

"We were so sure we'd end up together forever."

"I remember someone telling me we were destined to be together." Nick smirks, " _Even the alphabets think so!_" He cries in a high-pitched voice, and I fall into a fit of giggles at his epic fail of an impersonation of me.

"Whatever." I brush the comment off, " Funny how life works out right?"

"Remember that night freshman year when we decided to make our own predictions of the future?"

"I remember. We wrote those for four years." I muse softly, " I remember believing I'd be a professional photographer someday."

"A dream that could still be fulfilled, fyi." Nick coughs, and I roll my eyes. _Subtle. _He laughs before grasping my hand in his. " I never told you what I predicted didn't I?"

I shake my head no, realizing that he was right. It was me always rambling on about my predictions and never the opposite. "I never thought about it before." I reveal, my cheeks flushing pink in slight embarrassment.

"I always knew you were the type that liked the sound of their own voice." He taunts, flying his hands up in surrender before collecting a wad of papers I hadn't noticed he had been hiding behind his back. I look at him in confusion.

"Wha..?" I start, my words being intercepted by the finger on my plump lips.

"There's a reason I never showed you my predictions." Nick whispers, his eyes confidently meeting mine although I can feel a wave of nervousness radiating off from him, his demeanor becoming antsy as he begins to fidget. It was clear he was uncomfortable, which threw me into a loop. The last time I had witnessed Nick so nervous was when we were kids.

I crinkle my eyebrows, urging him to go on as I wait on with bated breath.

"I've never been able to express how I feel in words but I've always managed to do a good job on paper." He responds, before shyly placing the old, tattered sheets of paper in my hands.

Sending him a questioning glance, I peer down at the old, tattered papers in my hand and feel my heart warm at the words neatly scribbled down in his handwriting.

**Next year, I plan to tell Miley how I feel. **

_Next page… _

**Next year, I plan to make Miley my girl. **

_Next page… _I giggle, teary-eyed with emotion as I read his next couple of words.

**This time, I plan to make Miley my girl for real. **

_Next page… _

**I will tell Miley I'm in love with her**

_Final page… _

**Miley Stewart **_**will **_**become Miley Grey. **

"Nick.." I breathe, a lone tear trailing down my cheek. His fingers tenderly brush it away.

"I didn't show you this to upset you or purposefully steer you into my arms, because I want to earn you respect, Miley and I want to earn your trust, your heart on my own. " He enunciates, his voice growing thick with emotion. "I showed you this because you deserve to know, you've always been it for me, even then and your it for me now, even after 5 years of separation. When your around I transform into the lanky, love struck teenager who wrote those predictions and I can predict in the next following five years, I'm still going to feel that way."

The words are right there on the tip of my tongue. I want to say that I get it. I get the way he feels because I'm experiencing it, I live it, every second of every day. I want to confess that I feel the same, that I love him, that I never want to be without him and constantly being so near him all the time yet confining myself to this distance between us I have created has me going freaking insane. I want to give him all of me, completely, grant him acess to the heart that beats for him and him alone but I don't.

I _can't. _He broke me once. I'm not sure I'd be able to neither endure it nor overcome the heartbreak a second time. I'd rather suffer internally in this limbo we're in then experience that sort of hell all over again.

"In my dreams, I take myself back to that night and every time I relive it, I picture the scenario differently. I envision me staying, I envision me by your side. I envision me two, three years down the road standing at the alter and watching you saunter towards me in that white dress looking as stunning as the first day I saw you while my dreams come to life right in front of me. I wanted that for us."

"It's just a dream, Nick." I gently tell him, although it comes off more as a squeak. _So _not convincing.

"It's my dream."

"Mine too." I reveal so quietly it's practically non-existent. I hadn't even noticed him inching closer and closer to me until my skin is blazing from the feel of his hand around my waist, his fingertips grazing against my skin as he towered over me. Its like we had gravitated towards each other, beckoned one another and I should be reeling back but I find that I can't. I'm rooted to my spot, the universe has chosen to betray me and I let his love consume me, breathe me in.

His eyes have darkened, his eyes flickering between my eyes and my lips and it's not difficult to tell that he's having an internal battle with himself, willing himself to be strong, patient. Its in that moment that something stirs up inside me, that my judgement is clouded by my own desperate desire, need, longing for him and I close the distance between us, bravely pressing my lips to his.

He groans, pulling me tight against him and I swallow my own mewl of pleasure threatening to divulge from my lips as I rake my hands over his back. He pulls back, looking at me hesitantly, as if silently asking me if I was really aware of what I was doing and I nod, too wired, too deep into this never-ending passion between us to want anything else. He cracks a smile, wide and all and I use that opportunity to reel him in again, pulling him in for yet another kiss. _God have I missed this._

We're so wrapped up in each other that we hadn't even heard the sound of footsteps making its way up the tree house, nor the sound of the door crackling open until I hear the of another cover the room.

"Nick?"

I spring apart from him, expecting to find Demi, Joe, or Frankie standing on the other side yet what I expected hadn't even come close to the real deal. Not Demi, not Joe, Frankie or Kevin, hell not even Denise and Paul.

Long brown hair, bright brown eyes and skin so flawless no model or goddess can even come close in comparison. I know who she is instantly.

"Selena?" Says Nick, only further confirming my suspicions.

"Hi." She mumbles, awkwardly raising her hand in a wave as her eyes swing back and forth between her husband (soon to be ex) and I. " Can we talk?

* * *

Still want me to continue on with this story? Sorry for the cliffhanger! I had _to_! But Niley kissed! However what does Selena want? What is in store? All will be revealed in the next chapter so long as you guys click on the inviting review button located on the bottom of the page. I really want to finish this story, as well _Wide Awake _and I fully intend to. It's just really been difficult to manage my time for it in between my internship, work, and uni. However I have a full week off from everything and aspire to use it to my advantage! If you are still interested in this story as well as _Wide Awake _, please let me know!


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